One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
by ArtemisMoon
Summary: (InuKag) Miroku decides to swear off women for good, and it seems too good to be true for the rest of the group...but when another member of the gang starts acting strangely as a result, they may find out that a perverted Miroku wasn't so bad, after all..
1. Step 1: He Started it!

Before we get started, I must give credit for part of this story to Saro! She wrote the very first part of this chapter for fun and sent it to me, and it gave me such a good idea that she allowed me to continue with it and even gave me permission to post it.

Thank you, Saro! ^_^

Oh, and just so you know, this story is mainly being written for fun in my spare time, and it wasn't originally written with the intentions of being posted. But the people who have read it enjoyed it so much that I decided to post it. So updates might be very slow (especially since I am working on another story at the moment that takes precedence over this one), and the story might not end up being very long. But hopefully you guys will like it and encourage me to write more! After all, I do enjoy writing this story and just the thought of the plot is enough to get me laughing, if that tells you anything…

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters used in this story, but that still doesn't stop their suffering at my hands! *evil laughter*

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter One

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A resounding smack broke the morning air, followed by a not too unfamiliar cry of, "Hentai!"  
  
Kagome woke up with a start and found herself staring blearily at a well-known scene. Miroku was sitting on the ground, rubbing at the red handprint on his cheek, with Sango glowering down at his prone form.  
  
"Not again," the girl from the future groaned, burying her face in her sleeping bag in an attempt to deny the fact that the sun was peeking through the trees, the birds were chirping, and her friends were awake and shouting.  
  
"Can't you at least wait a few hours to start acting like a pervert," Shippo asked, yawning behind his hand. "Maybe until after breakfast?"  
  
"This is the third morning in a row I've woken up with your hands on me," Sango fumed, shaking one first over the monk's head.  
  
"Hey, can you keep it down," Inuyasha growled from his tree. "Some of us were trying to sleep."  
  
"Do you always have to be such a lech?"  
  
"Can't you go a few hours without touching one of us?"  
  
"Hell, you even grope them in your sleep!"  
  
"Aren't monks supposed to be virtuous?"  
  
Through out this whole routine exchange, something very abnormal was happening. Miroku's face, usually serene and only slightly befuddled when confronted with this sort of assault, was slowly growing darker and darker, his brows drawing lower and lower, and his lips turning in an uncharacteristic frown. He was touching the new handprint on his cheek with less and less   
surprise, and more anger.  
  
"That's it," the monk said finally, interrupting Shippo who had been having his turn, "I'm not doing this anymore."  
  
"What?" Everyone asked at once.  
  
"I'm not doing this anymore," Miroku repeated, standing up and brushing the dirt off his robes. "I am swearing off women."  
  
"You're what?" Sango and Kagome gasped at the same time that Shippo's jaw hit the ground and Inuyasha grumbled, "Tche, like that'll happen."  
  
"I mean it. I, Miroku, do henceforth swear off all involvement with the feminine sex," Miroku declared firmly. His feet were planted, his shoulders squared, his jaw set. He looked ready to face a whole army of demons.  
  
For a long moment no one said anything. The birds stopped chirping, the sun stopped peeking, the morning air stopped breaking, and everyone stopped talking. They all just stared at the monk, varying expressions of disbelief painted on their faces. Then Kagome leapt out of her sleeping bag and rushed over to the monk, laying her palm across his forehead. Inuyasha rolled off his branch and scrutinized him, and Shippo tugged up the edge of Miroku's robe to peer underneath.  
  
"Huh," Kagome said wonderingly. "He doesn't have a fever. Are you feeling okay?"  
  
"What are you trying to pull?" Inuyasha said skeptically. "Is this some kind of trick?"  
  
"Who are you? And what have you done with Miroku?" Shippo asked suspiciously.  
  
"I'm fine. And this isn't a trick. I am me." Miroku answered, pushing Kagome's hand aside gently, returning Inuyasha's look with his own glare and removing Shippo from his clothing. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean up."  
  
The rest of the group watched him go, hardly crediting what they'd heard. Sango had hit the monk plenty of times, but he'd never done 'that' before.  
  
The demon hunter blinked and exchanged a troubled glance with her friends. After the monk was well out of sight, she said quietly, "Maybe he's finally taken one too many blows to the head...?"

Kagome shook her head, but not in response to her friend's question. "I'm not too sure about this. What do you think he might have possibly meant by 'swearing off women'? Does that mean he's going to start acting like a real monk?"

Shippo screwed up his little face in sincere disbelief. "HA!"

"That'd better be what he means." Inuyasha huffed. "What else?" When this innocent little question was voiced, the two girls in the group suddenly went pale.

"You don't think…" Sango's voice trailed off uncertainly.

Kagome shook her head violently and a little desperately. "No! Miroku-sama wouldn't do that!"

The demon exterminator nodded in response and managed a weak smile. "I'm sure you're right, Kagome-chan."

While this small exchange went on, Inuyasha was growing more and more confused. And the more confused he got, the more annoyed he got. So of course it didn't take long before he couldn't stand it anymore and delicately voiced the question on his mind. "What the HELL are you both talking about?!?!"

Kagome and Sango both turned to him in surprise.

"I don't understand either." Shippo complained from his spot in Kagome's lap.

An uncertain look passed between the two women before Kagome attempted to explain. "Well, since Miroku-sama swore off women, it would only be logical for him to…" Her once pale face was now a bright shade of red.

"Logical for him to WHAT?" Inuyasha growled. He obviously didn't have the patience for any delicacy that morning. Not that he ever does. "Just spit it out, wench!"

Pure irritation at the half-demon for his rudeness crossed Kagome's features. If he wanted blunt…"What I mean, Inuyasha, is that he might decide to start groping YOU!"

Sango gasped and blushed. "Kagome-chan!"

Despite Sango's protests, even she had to admit that the look that came into the hanyou's eyes was well worth the embarrassment such a statement caused.

"Ewww, why would Miroku want to touch HIM!?!" Shippo cried, making a disgusted face.

Inuyasha didn't know whether he should agree with the baby kitsune, or be offended and clobber the small kit. He finally settled on saying a rather flustered "Keh!" with his arms crossed over his chest in his classic pose. "As if he'd do something so stupid."

The girl from the future gazed at him with a thoughtful expression, and what Inuyasha suspected to be amusement. "Oh, I don't know. After all, Miroku is awfully addicted to groping. And if he really has sworn off women, then the only option left would be to grope other men like YOU. Desperation can drive people to do some strange things, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha was finding it harder and harder to hide his nervousness and couldn't manage more than a derisive snort in response.

Kagome let out a small giggle. "I would worry if I were you, Inuyasha. After all, how often do you actually show any…uh, sexual interest in women? You act protective, and even show a little romantic interest, but…" Kagome allowed her unspoken words to hang in the air and unsettle the half-demon even more.

Inuyasha wasn't looking nearly as confident as usual.

Shaking her head and hiding a smile, Sango suddenly stood up. "I think we should just stop worrying about it. Houshi-sama will be back to normal in no time. Do you want to get a bath at the hot spring before we go, Kagome-chan?"

The younger girl was distracted from her teasing immediately and moved to grab her overstuffed yellow backpack. "Of course! We need to take advantage of our pervert free time while we've got it!"

Giggling and chatting, Sango and Kagome walked towards the Hot Springs and left one very upset hanyou and one extremely confused kitsune to their thoughts.

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~*~*~*~*~*~

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"Ah, that was such a nice bath!" Kagome cried happily as she and Sango slowly walked back towards camp.

"I agree. Especially since there wasn't a single pervert in sight the entire time." The demon exterminator was still reveling in the fact that she could let her guard down for even just a few precious minutes and relax. The feeling was very foreign, but also very welcome.

Each girl was still smiling happily when they entered the campsite a few moments later.

"KAGOME!" Shippo shouted, launching himself in her direction. He latched himself onto her shoulder and stared at her with worried eyes. "Kagome, I think something's really wrong with Inuyasha!"

Both girls looked around in confusion and worry but didn't see the hanyou anywhere, though they did see Miroku calmly sitting on the ground before the fire. At their questioning gaze, the monk looked up.

"It seems something is indeed wrong with Inuyasha." Miroku confirmed. "The moment I entered camp he suddenly growled and ran in the direction of Kaede-sama's village without a word of explanation."

This action of leaving Kagome virtually unprotected (Well, by Inuyasha's standards, anyway) was very out of character for the hanyou, and concern over this was reflected in each of their faces.

"Perhaps he smelled something wrong and went to check it out?" Sango suggested.

Kagome gazed worriedly in the direction Miroku had indicated, her eyes glazing over slightly. 'Even when he runs off after Kikyo, he always tells someone where he's going or leaves some pretty obvious clues. I hope he's okay…'

Shippo was now sitting on Kagome's shoulder and staring at his adopted mother in concern. "Kagome?"

Eyes snapping back into focus, Kagome nodded firmly. Standing around and worrying wasn't going to do her any good, and she knew it. "I think we need to follow him and see what's wrong before he gets too far. This isn't like him at all."

"I agree." Miroku nodded seriously.

The group began packing up the contents of the camp, and both girls, in their distracted concern, unintentionally gave Miroku ample opportunities to grope them. Surprisingly enough, though, he behaved himself like a perfect gentlemen.

"Do you think he really means it?" Kagome whispered to Sango while heading towards the village. Both girls were at the moment walking several paces behind the hopefully ex-lecher and trying to distract themselves from the problem with Inuyasha.

In response to Kagome's question, Sango shrugged her shoulders and carefully watched Miroku as he walked. "I honestly don't know, Kagome-chan. Maybe he does, but even then, how long will it last?"

The younger girl didn't answer this question out loud, but mentally she compared this situation to common ones from her own time. 'Miroku-sama is kind of like an addict, isn't he? His resolve might be honest, but most addicts just can't go cold turkey like that. How long will it take for him to slip up?'

Kagome was so lost in thought that she soon fell slightly behind the others in the group, and Sango was too busy watching Miroku like a hawk to take notice.

"Oi, Kagome!" A voice out of the blue hissed.

The girl from the future continued to walk forward without having heard.

The voice then became rather peeved. "Pay attention to me, wench!"

THAT got Kagome's attention and caused her to stop and look around. "Inuyasha? Where the heck are you?"

"Look up, dummy!"

Snapping her head back, Kagome looked up at the branches above her head and frowned at the red and white figure perched there.

"Keh! Took you long enough."

Kagome ignored this. "Where did you run off to? Better yet, WHY did you run off? We were worried about you, you know!"

The hanyou snorted and glanced at the still walking figures far up the path, checking in case they might have suddenly realized Kagome's absence. "I…had some thinking to do, not that it's any of your business!"

"YOU can think?"

"Shut up!"

For several moments the two just glared at each other in silence, ignoring their surroundings.

"Kagome-chan!" A voice suddenly shouted. Both turned their gazes to where Sango, Miroku, and Shippo had stopped to look back at her, and Inuyasha started looking very uneasy.

After Kagome signaled for them to wait a moment, she once again turned to glare up at Inuyasha. "Let's catch up with them and talk about this later, okay?"

The half-demon shifted nervously but didn't budge and inch.

"Well? Are you coming?"

"No."

"Oswari!"

Kagome watched him with half-lidded eyes as he cursed like a drunken sailor and attempted to pull his face out of the dirt.

"Are you coming now?"

"No!"

The scene was repeated once more, and Kagome's facial expression could only be described as one of sheer boredom. While this was happening, Sango and Miroku walked towards them.

"Welcome back, Inuyasha!" Miroku called with no small amount of amusement in his voice. The hanyou growled in response and slunk backwards along the ground as far as the spell would allow, which wasn't much.

"I don't know what's wrong with him!" Kagome cried in exasperation. "He keeps refusing to come with us!"

Sango gazed at him questioningly. "Did you perhaps hear of a shikon shard?"

"No!"

"Or maybe..." Kagome nervously tugged on the hem of her skirt, an action that Inuyasha couldn't help but distractedly take note of. "Did you go see…Kikyo?"

"Of course not!" He looked positively offended at her thinking so little of him, and Kagome sighed in relief.

Miroku spoke up suddenly. "If that is so, then the answer is very obvious." Everyone turned to look at him, some gazes more paranoid than others.

"Well?" Sango sighed, expecting something perverted. 

"He must have smelled Naraku."

Everyone's jaws dropped in shock.

"N-no!" Inuyasha denied, though seriously wishing it were true. "If I'd smelled that creep, don't you think I would have told you?" As much as he tried to cover it up with anger, his voice still betrayed his hurt that they didn't trust him.

"I know you would have." Kagome answered soothingly. "But you still haven't told us why you ran off."

Inuyasha turned his gaze to the ground. "As I said, it's none of your business!"

Sighing, Kagome finally decided to drop the subject and ask him again later in private. "Fine, be that way. Shall we go?"

Everyone automatically looked at Inuyasha expectantly.

"W-what are you looking at me like that for?" A large sweatdrop had appeared on his head.

"You are the leader, therefore you make the decision about where we shall go." Miroku answered patiently. "As usual, we will follow you."

"Besides, you make our lives miserable when we don't." Shippo muttered.

Panic was quickly welling up inside the hanyou, but he squelched it and tried to think of a way out of the situation. "I…Keh! Let's go back to the village since we're headed that way anyway!" He crossed his arms over his chest and mentally congratulated himself for his quick thinking.

Nobody moved.

"Dammit, are you humans so weak that you can't find your way back without me leading you?" He growled. "You can find your own way back, so get moving!"

"Are you kidding?" Kagome narrowed her eyes when he waited for them all to walk ahead. "You're acting way too strange if you ask me, so I'm staying where I can keep an eye on you."

"Well, I'm the leader and I say you can't!" The hanyou blustered in annoyance.

Miroku turned to Sango. "I suppose this situation leaves us to lead the way, Sango-sama. Shall we go?" He politely walked beside her instead of slightly behind her like he normally would, no longer having a perverted reason to do so. Or perhaps just to avoid temptation.

Inuyasha let out a small sigh of relief when the two finally moved on, leaving him to follow without worry. He then walked after them, leaving Kagome standing still and staring at him.

Inuyasha turned back to her in mid-step. "Oi, are you coming or not?"

Shaking her head, Kagome ran to catch up while still keeping a speculative eye on her hanyou companion. 'I can't believe this! First he runs off when he sees Miroku, and now he refuses to walk in front of him. Could it be that he really is worried about what we said?' Kagome laughed to herself at the thought. 'Nah, that couldn't be it. Surely he knows Miroku better than that...I hope...'

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So what do you think so far? Like the plot? When Saro sent me the part about Miroku swearing off women, I couldn't help but continue it with my own little plot twists involving Inuyasha. It is just such an amusing set up, and I've never seen another story quite like this one. And more than anything it is so much fun to write! Messing with poor Inuyasha's head…Anyway, the next chapter is also completed, so if you guys like this one, then review and I'll post the next one. ^_^


	2. Step 2: Don't touch those!

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Wow, I've gotten a very nice response for this story so far, lol! Thank you for all the encouraging reviews and nice comments! I guess other people like the concept of this story just as much as I do, which I am thrilled about! And I have a feeling that as the plot becomes clearer, you guys will find it even more amusing than you do now. Especially after you read this chapter! 

And please excuse me if the formatting is off (someone complained about the last chapter having too much spacing). I just got a new computer, which also means a much newer version of word. It doesn't format quite like the old version, so I'm still trying to get the spacing just the way I want it. Also, this new quickedit feature that ff.net has added is proving to be a major pain where symbols are concerned. (grumbles) It removes all my scene breaks!

Inu-Youkai 911 – Your guess wasn't as far off as you thought! (laughs) You'll see what I mean…

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Disclaimer: The Inuyasha characters are not mine, a fact that Miroku is probably very thankful for right now. After all, I'm sure Rumiko Takahashi never plans on making him swear off women in the manga.

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Two

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"What do you think is wrong with Inuyasha?" Sango questioned Miroku as quietly as she could as they sat beneath the cool shade of a tree. They were back at Kaede's village and had been there for almost three days. "Ever since Kagome-chan went home, he's been avoiding everyone like the plague. Do you think he is angry with us for some reason?"

Miroku silently considered the dog demon in question, who was perched in his favorite tree a small distance away from the hut. He remained quiet for several moments before deciding to answer Sango's questions. "I am not sure. He always acts grumpy when Kagome-sama is absent, but this time there seems to be something different about his attitude that I can't put my finger on."

About that moment, Inuyasha suddenly realized he was being stared at and shot what could only be described as an evil glare towards the monk and demon exterminator. If Miroku hadn't known better, though, he would have sworn that the glare was directed fully at himself.

"Oi, Bouzu! Quit staring at me, you disgusting pervert!"

Sango and Miroku both sweat-dropped and looked at each other uncertainly. "Do we dare ask?" The former inquired hesitantly. She was beginning to think everyone around her had finally lost their minds. First Miroku was swearing off women, and now Inuyasha was…well, he wasn't acting like himself, that was for certain.

Miroku slowly shook his head. "No, Sango, I believe there are times when some things are better left alone. And this, I'm sure, is one of those times."

The dark-haired girl couldn't help but agree.

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Inuyasha carefully watched the two companions sitting on the ground, growling occasionally for seemingly no reason. Neither was looking at him anymore, but he was still feeling wary after Miroku had been staring at him so intently earlier.

'That stupid wench! She'd better hurry up and get back here or I'm going after her! I don't know how much more of this I can stand...' Inuyasha's ears drooped a bit as his thoughts took a sudden turn. 'She really didn't mean that about me not showing any interest in her, did she? Stupid Kagome...'

For a long moment Inuyasha remained lost in his dejected thoughts and forgot to watch the couple on the ground nearby. When a cold chill raced down his spine, though, he caught Miroku once again eyeing him intently.

"STOP STARING AT ME!" Inuyasha shouted furiously before realizing he was probably only drawing more unwanted attention to himself. With a huff of disgust, he jumped off his perch and bounded towards the well without looking back.

Sango and Miroku were left staring at his retreating back with gazes full of confusion.

"Idiots!" He growled between clenched teeth as he ran. "They all know I'm not like that! What do they expect me to do to prove it, start groping girls?" In reaction to the very idea of doing such a thing, a bright blush spread across his cheeks as he ran.

'You wouldn't mind groping a certain girl, would you?' An evil little voice whispered inside his head, causing the blush to spread further. 'She probably wouldn't mind it, either...'

"Keh! Not mind? I'd probably get sat six feet under." He muttered under his breath. "The last thing I need is to give her a good reason for thinking I'm a pervert!"

'Why not? You have nothing to lose. She already thinks you're a pervert after all those times you saw her taking a bath… '

"It was an accident!"

'Sure it was…go ahead and believe that if it will make you feel better.'

Inuyasha stopped running suddenly and found himself perched on the side of the well. He was cursing colorfully under his breath for being crazy enough to argue with himself while staring into the dark depths below.

'So are you going to jump in and go see Kagome?' The little voice nagged. 'You know you want to…'

"GAH! Just shut up and leave me the hell alone!" he shouted, causing his voice to echo against the stone walls of the well. "It's all that bouzu's fault that I'm losing my mind. I should go back and slice him into tiny little pieces..." Just the thought was giving him some satisfaction.

'That would mean you'd actually have to touch him, idiot.'

The grumpy hanyou growled. "Now you're ruining my fun, too."

"Inuyasha!" a small voice suddenly cried out, causing the dog-demon to look around alertly. He soon spotted Shippo scrambling along the path that lead towards Kaede's village and once again cursed himself for not noticing the kit's approach sooner. He was normally much more alert than that. "Hey, Inuyasha? Who were you talking to? Is Kagome in the well?"

Inuyasha turned red at being caught talking to himself and frantically debated between running or actually attempting to answer Shippo's questions without making a bigger fool of himself.

He finally settled for jumping into the well where the fox cub wouldn't be able to follow.

"Inuyasha!" Shippo cried out as he scrambled for the well as quickly as his little feet could take him. "It's not time to bring Kagome back yet! She wanted to come back tomorrow! Inuyyaasha!"

No matter how much the poor little kit hurried, though, by the time Shippo managed to scramble up the side of the well the white-haired hanyou had already completely vanished from sight.

"Jerk." He muttered.

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Inuyasha silently gazed around the dark interior of the well house in Kagome's time and wondered what he should do next. He refused to go anywhere near Miroku if he could help it, so that crossed going back through the well off his list of choices. That left Kagome's time as his only option, and since it was still early in the afternoon, Kagome probably wouldn't be home yet from that 'school' place that took up so much of her time. The thought made Inuyasha scowl deeply.

"I don't see what's so great about that place anyway. All the boys there are wimps…and they don't have hair as nice as mine!" This small burst of added vanity was caused by a comment Kagome had made once about his hair.

Slipping out the door of the well house, Inuyasha stealthily crossed the yard of the Higuarshi Shrine and jumped up to the window he more often than not used as an entrance to Kagome's room.

"Stupid girl, wasting time and making me wait here with nothing to do for her to come back." He muttered angrily. "I should go find her and drag her back kicking and screaming!"

Luckily for Inuyasha, he was at least smart enough to know better. A stupid stunt like that one would most likely earn him a broken back and cold shoulder courtesy of Kagome.

Glancing around the room with a bored expression, he suddenly caught sight of a small item lying on the floor beside the bed. This was unusual because Kagome always kept her room very neat and clean at all times, unless of course she did something stupid like oversleep and had to get dressed and leave in a hurry.

Kneeling on the floor, Inuyasha gingerly picked up the item with his claws and nearly dropped it when he realized exactly what it was.

'This looks...like one of those funny pieces of cloth she wears...down there...' He couldn't even bring himself to finish the thought properly. The only reason he had any clue at all as to what they were was because of those times he'd 'accidentally' seen Kagome taking a bath.

Once, the now very embarrassed hanyou recalled, he had even caught Miroku digging through Kagome's bag and handling the small scrap of clothing like it was something of interest to a pervert like himself. Even though he hadn't known what was going through the monk's mind at the time, Inuyasha had still put a very swift end to Miroku's fun. He hadn't liked the idea of some other man going through Kagome's personal possessions at all.

"I don't get it!" Inuyasha muttered gruffly, staring at the innocent piece of cloth dangling from his hand. "What's so interesting about these things that it would get the bouzu all excited?"

Now Inuyasha wasn't exactly dumb, but every now and then he did reveal a slight tendency to be rather slow about some things. This just happened to be one of those instances.

Glaring at the scrap of clothing that was hanging from his claws, thoughts slowly began to click together one by one like pieces of a puzzle, gradually shading his face redder and redder at the same pace. The cloth...'there'...sexual interest...

"AAARRRGGGHHH! I'm going to kill that pervert!" He shouted out of the blue when Miroku's actions finally became clear to him. "I'll teach him to think of Kagome like that at ALL!" His fist clenched tightly over the pale blue underwear as he growled darkly.

'Dummy, he's probably thinking like that about YOU now!' The evil little voice was back full force, and Inuyasha paled considerably at its suggestion. 'But, since he DID think of Kagome like that, you can still kill him...if you feel like going near him, that is...'

Maybe his revenge could wait a while.

"I'm home!" A voice called out from downstairs and Inuyasha could hear the front door sliding open and then closed with a soft click.

At first, Inuyasha could only feel relief that she was back. He always felt so restless and unhappy when she wasn't present, and it wasn't just because without her around, they couldn't continue their search for the shards.

The second thing he felt when he heard her footsteps quickly scaling the stairs was sheer PANIC!

"Oh great!" Inuyasha hissed under is breath.

Eyes darting frantically around the room, Inuyasha searched for some place to stow the incriminating item still clutched in his clawed hand before he was discovered. And you know that whenever someone is panicked, they aren't thinking very clearly.

"Dammit!" Just as the door was opening, Inuyasha stuffed the blue underwear in his red haori, barely able to get it all tucked in against his chest before she entered the room and came to a screeching halt at the sight of him.

"I-Inu...yasha?" Kagome questioned hesitantly, taking a small step forward before stopping again. She stared at him with wide eyes, unsure as to what he might be doing. All she knew was that Inuyasha was crouched on the floor beside her bed with his right hand fisted and stuffed in the front of his haori, and his face almost as red as the cloth itself.

"What?" He stared back at her as if insulted, or perhaps just being defensive.

Kagome sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "WHAT are you doing in my room? I told you I wasn't planning on coming back until tomorrow!"

"I..." Inuyasha's already weak voice trailed off completely. 'That 'uniform' thing of hers is really short...I wonder if she's wearing one of these pieces of cloth now too?' His fist unconsciously clenched around the small scrap of clothing.

"Inuyasha!"

The hanyou jerked his eyes back up to her face and flushed. He seemed to be doing that a LOT lately.

"Are you going to answer me or not?"

"Keh! I don't have to explain myself to you, wench!"

Kagome's eyebrow began to tic, and the telling motion caused the half-demon's stomach to sink with feeling of impending doom. "You WILL explain why you are in my room...or..." She paused, knowing that she didn't have to finish in order to make her meaning clear.

Inuyasha gulped nervously. "Uhh..."

"Well?"

Silence.

"OSWARI!"

Inuyasha crashed to the floor with a terrible force, and unluckily for him his hand was still firmly stuffed in the front of his clothing. He could only hope that all the bones in his hand were still whole, although at the moment it didn't feel like it.

"You are such a jerk sometimes, Inuyasha! Why can't you just answer a simple question?"

The hanyou/pancake ignored her and concentrated on prying himself off the floor.

"I'll never make it through school at this rate if you keep dragging me back!" Kagome continued to rant. "I'll end up an old lady, begging on the streets for spare change because I couldn't even pull a C- in math! If you'd just be more considerate and think of my feelings for a change, then maybe-" Kagome suddenly broke off and stared at the hanyou on her bedroom floor.

"Are you through yelling at me?" He growled, pushing himself up with both hands. "For your information, if I WEREN'T so considerate, you'd never get any chances to come back!" He shook his fist at her angrily during his small speech. 

His RIGHT fist…

"KYAA! PERVERT!" Kagome shrieked as loudly as she possibly could. Any louder and Inuyasha's sensitive dog-ears wouldn't have survived intact.

As soon as the hapless hanyou figured out what she was screaming at, he dropped the underwear as if it were on fire and backed away with fear in his eyes. He'd be lucky if he survived her wrath this time, and he knew it. "Wait! This isn't what it looks like, Kagome!"

"Oh, it isn't?" Kagome's voice was cold and scathing. "What were you doing then, using them to polish my bedroom furniture?"

"NO! I found them on your floor and picked them up-"

"And decided to steal them?"

"NO!!!!!!! If you'd just listen to me, bitch, I-"

Ohhh, WRONG thing to say, dog-boy. "OSWARI! OSWARI OSWARI OSWARI!"

In the end, he earned himself that broken back and cold shoulder, after all...

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So, is the story plot beginning to look a little more obvious? LOL! It might not be intentional on his part, but Inuyasha is slowly but surely become a very good replacement for Miroku. After all, the Inuyasha gang wouldn't be quite complete without a resident pervert, now would it? Also, a few interesting plot twists are ahead, so be looking forward to those whenever I manage to get the next chapter out. It might be a while, because I need to concentrate on my other story and get it finished.

Anyway, don't forget to review! 


	3. Step 3: He wore WHAT?

Yes! New ideas, therefore new chapters! I am having too much fun with this story, so I hope you guys are enjoying it as well. A lot of you don't believe that I could convincingly get Inuyasha to do perverted things, so I'm trying my hardest to prove you wrong…why? Because it's entertaining!

But anyway, thanks for all the great reviews you guys have left me! As long as you guys keep leaving them and letting me know that you are reading, I'll continue to post chapters for this story. And believe me, if you find the first chapters entertaining, you don't want me to stop now because I have some doozies coming up soon, lol…

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, but I own the little voice in his head! That is almost as good, right?

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Three

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Kagome sighed and turned a page in her math textbook, trying to tune out the feeling of Inuyasha staring intently at her back. Her efforts weren't getting her very far, though, and she had to force herself not to turn around and glare back at him.

'Why can't he just go away and leave me to study in peace?' Kagome thought as she anxiously chewed on the end of her pencil. 'For some weird reason he doesn't want to go back through the well, even though he knows I'm so mad at him that I still want to sit him through the floor! Usually when I'm like this, he makes himself scarce.'

Looking back down at the book in front of her, Kagome worked on the next problem with forced concentration, trying her best to ignore the hanyou behind her.

'If I take this number and divide it by seven, I should get the answer...although the answer I would really like to have is WHY that stupid jerk won't quit staring at me!' The pencil snapping in her clenched fist, Kagome spun around in her chair to glare at Inuyasha.

"I can't take it anymore! What is your problem, Inuyasha?"

Flinching guiltily, the hanyou snapped out of his heavy concentration and moved his eyes away from Kagome's backside and up to meet her accusing gaze. He really had not meant to be staring so intently at it, but he hadn't been able to keep himself from wondering what Miroku found so fascinating about them. And the more he considered the question in his mind, the harder he found himself staring.

'You have to admit, it is a very nice view…' The small voice in the back of his mind taunted him. 'Face it. You've always believed yourself to be better than Miroku, but deep down, you are just as bad as he is. You were staring at her because you wanted to, plain and simple.'

"I was not!" Inuyasha defended himself out loud, blushing furiously.

Kagome blinked, confused. "Um…Inuyasha, are you okay?" She reached out an unsure hand towards him, obviously worried about his odd response. After all, she had only asked him what his problem was and hadn't accused him of anything…yet.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' Inuyasha railed at himself furiously after catching the concerned look Kagome was giving him. 'I can't believe I actually answered that stupid little voice out loud! Now she's going to think I've lost my mind or something…' Glancing around furtively, Inuyasha briefly wondered if he had anything left to lose by beating his head on the bedroom wall behind him.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome was practically in his face by this point, and had one hand sitting on his shoulder in what he guessed was supposed to be a comforting gesture. "Why are you so quiet? Please answer me!"

"I…" Inuyasha paused, unsure what he should say. "I'm fine! I just…I was just staring at you and wondering how you could fit into that underwear thing I had earlier. It was so small!"

Open mouth, insert foot.

"You jerk!" Kagome cried, snatching her hand away from his shoulder as if she'd been burned. "And here I was worried about you!"

Inuyasha cringed, knowing that he wouldn't recover from his chronic stupidity any time soon. He'd never been able to stop himself from saying stupid things to Kagome, and he had no idea why! It wasn't as if he WANTED her to be mad at him!

'Or maybe you do…' The evil little voice was back and as obnoxious as ever. 'You feel safer when she's angry with you. Oh, not physically safer…' the voice added before he could muster an argument. 'After all, every time you make her mad, she sits you until you're black and blue. What I mean is, you feel safer because you don't want to let her get too close…'

Inuyasha's eyes widened while his mind frantically tried to deny the accusation.

'Dammit, that's not it!'

'Then why do things to make her so angry?'

'Because-' Inuyasha's brain paused, not sure what he could say to prove to himself that what the voice was saying wasn't true.

While he was busy internally arguing with himself, Kagome had stomped back to her desk and was once again attempting to study. The only thing she was really doing, though, was succeeding at ripping holes in her paper with a new, unbroken pencil.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid Inuyasha!' Her mind chanted over and over as she pulled out her third piece of paper. 'I can't believe he said I have a big butt! Well, he didn't exactly say that, but he implied it!'

Kagome pulled out a fourth piece of paper after crumpling up the third one and tossing it in the trashcan by her desk.

Other than the sounds of Kagome's furious scribbling, the room was eerily quiet. Inuyasha was still lost in his own thoughts, and Kagome was busy planning the demise of the unsuspecting hanyou behind her.

"Kagome!"

The girl whose name had been called looked up.

"Bring your clothes down to be washed, would you, dear?"

Sighing at the new interruption, Kagome obediently stood up from her desk and walked over to her closet. She then slid open one of the doors and pulled a small basket out, obviously full of the clothes her mother had asked her for.

It was then that she got an idea.

Turning to Inuyasha with a cold look, she thrust the basket into his hands so suddenly that he almost dropped it. Thankfully, his reflexes were much better than any human, or he probably would have.

"Inuyasha…" Kagome smiled at him in a sickeningly sweet way that had chills crawling up and down his spine. "Since you seem to have such a strong fascination with my clothes, YOU can take them downstairs to mama!"

He blinked. "But-"

"Just do it!" She commanded him before turning back to her desk and sitting down. "Go downstairs and head towards the kitchen. Mama will tell you what to do with them from there."

Without turning around, Kagome picked up her pencil and began writing once more, a signal that she was obviously finished with what she'd been saying and that she wasn't planning on arguing with him about it.

Grumbling under his breath, Inuyasha stomped out of the room.

When he got downstairs, Kagome's mother called to him from the kitchen without bothering to see who she was talking to. "Just take them to the laundry room downstairs!"

Inuyasha looked around in confusion. Downstairs? But wasn't he already downstairs? And what was a 'laundry room' anyway?

It was then that he spotted a door not far from him that was partially ajar. It was one that he'd never noticed before, but then it was also fairly well hidden behind a large cabinet where Mrs. Higurashi liked to keep Kagome's numerous medical supplies. If the door had been closed, he probably would have never even seen it.

So was that the 'laundry room' Mrs. Higurashi had been talking about?

Shrugging and deciding that the best way to know would be to look, the white-haired hanyou walked over to the door and pulled it open the rest of the way. It revealed a set of stairs leading down into another level of the house that was below the ground. He could also hear rather odd noises.

"Weird future dwellings…" He grumbled to himself as he made his way down the stairs. "Building rooms below the ground and above the ground…why can't they just make them all one level like we do in my time?"

He suddenly stopped.

"What the HELL are those things?" He gaped at the two white objects, one of which was the source of all the noise he'd been hearing.

"We use those to wash clothes with." Mrs. Higurashi suddenly appeared behind him, smiling in amusement at the way he nearly jumped out of his skin. He must have been too distracted to hear her coming down the stairs.

"Wash clothes?" He echoed blankly.

Mrs. Higurashi nodded patiently. "Would you like to see how they work?"

Taking his wide-eyed look as a 'yes' and ignoring the gleam of suspicion in them, Kagome's mother walked over to the two contraptions and glanced at the timer on the one making such a loud racket.

"Oh good, it should be finished any moment now, and then I can show you how to use it!" As if on cue, the object suddenly went quiet.

Not knowing what to think, Inuyasha decided to keep a fair distance away from them, even if Mrs. Higurashi wasn't afraid of them. He'd never been known for his trusting attitude, and that applied to both living and non-living things.

Humming a little tune under her breath, Mrs. Higurashi pulled open the washer and started removing all the wet clothing that was inside of it. "This one that I'm pulling things out of washes the clothes. The other one dries them." She held up a wet shirt. "See how clean clothes can get when you use these? This shirt had a huge mud stain on it from when Souta was playing in the rain the other day."

Inuyasha couldn't help but be impressed. That thing could get mud out of clothes? Perhaps it could even get blood out. He looked down at his fire rat robe mournfully.

Kagome's mother noticed his glance and hid a smile. "I have an idea! Why don't we wash your clothes with the next load? I'm sure they could use a good cleaning, especially if they get as dirty as Kagome's do when she's on the other side of the well."

Hmmm…should he do it? Inuyasha had to admit the idea was certainly tempting. Kagome was always making a big deal about being clean, and the only time his clothes ever saw water was when he accidentally fell in some.

Who knows, maybe she might even like him more if his clothes smelled nice.

'Idiot!' He suddenly caught the direction of his thoughts and mentally called himself every unrepeatable thing that he could think of. 'Why should I care if she likes me or not, anyway? It's not like I like her or anything…'

While Inuyasha was considering Mrs. Higurashi's idea, she was loading some new clothes into the washer while being careful to pick ones that Inuyasha's red outfit wouldn't accidentally ruin. After all, she didn't think her daughter would appreciate her school uniform being green and pink…

"Oh my!" Kagome's mother suddenly jumped and darted her gaze towards the stairs, a dark red T-Shirt hanging from her hand. "I think I hear the phone ringing. Why don't you just put your clothes in with the rest of these while I'm gone, okay? I won't be long!" Dropping the shirt in with the rest, Mrs. Higurashi trotted towards the stairs.

Just before she made it to the top, though, she called back, "Oh, and there are some clothes in the blue basket that you can wear while yours are being cleaned!"

Inuyasha looked around in confusion, and sure enough, there was a blue basket full of clothes that had recently been cleaned and folded. Most of them were lighter colors – white, pale blue, gray…not exactly colors he cared for.

With slow movements and feeling more than a little disgruntled at the situation, Inuyasha hesitantly began to remove his red haori first, and then moved on to his pants. Once he was finished removing everything but his white undershirt, Inuyasha leaned over and stared into the depths of the washing machine with a suspicious expression.

Could that thing REALLY get clothes so clean, or was Kagome's mother up to something? What if his clothes got ruined? What if-

"Awww, hell!" Inuyasha suddenly growled as he heard Kagome's mother finish her phone conversation. He knew she'd be back down any moment, and unless he wanted to be caught half-naked, he'd better hurry up.

Removing his last shirt and tossing all of his clothes into the washer, Inuyasha then scrambled through the pile of clothes Mrs. Higurashi had pointed out to him for something that looked easy enough to put on. Nothing with those damn contraptions called 'buttons' or whatever they were called, and definitely nothing with those metal teeth-like things…

"Inuyasha?" Mrs. Higurashi called down the stairs before entering. "Are you finished yet?"

Listening carefully, she heard a flurry of sounds and muted cursing before everything went suddenly quiet. Was he finished?

"Inuyasha?"

"Yeah, I'm done." The hanyou muttered, just loudly enough for her to hear.

"Well, I hope you were able to find some clothes that fit you fairly well." She spoke conversationally as she descended the stairs into the shadowy basement room. "Most of Grandpa's clothes are probably too big for you, but I'm sure there was something in there you could have-"

Mrs. Higurashi stopped dead on the bottom step, one hand rising to cover her mouth.

"Oh…my…"

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Kagome beat her head against the edge of her desk in a steady rhythm to match the mantra she was chanting. "I didn't want to see that, I didn't want to see that, I didn't want to see that..."

"Would you just shut up already?!?!" Inuyasha snapped at her from his place on her bed. "How the hell was I supposed to know what she meant? She just told me to get something out of the basket, so I got something out of the stupid basket!"

Kagome looked up and behind her with a flat gaze. "But why, out of all those clothes, did you choose to wear THAT?" She pointed to the crumpled up piece of clothing in the corner on her bedroom floor.

He folded his arms with an embarrassed huff and looked away. "It fit, and it didn't have any of those complicated things on them..."

"You mean buttons and zippers?"

"Whatever."

"Oh god..." Kagome laid her head back down on her desk and closed her eyes. They didn't stay shut for long, though, when the image of Inuyasha wearing her mother's favorite white satin nightgown appeared behind her eyelids. That horrific sight was going to be burned into her memory for all time. "After witnessing something as scary as that, I'm never going to be able to get any more studying done!"

"Quit making such a big deal out of it!" He cried, frustrated by her dramatics. "You act like I did it on purpose the way you're carrying on, even though you were laughing your head off earlier!" You AND your mother!" A bright blush stained his cheeks.

Kagome smiled slightly. "Well, it WAS funny, even if I am traumatized for life now. But as for my mother, I don't think I've EVER heard her laugh so loudly. I thought she was going to pass out!"

Inuyasha huffed in irritation at the reminder of everyone's amusement at his expense, and turned his back on the girl sitting at the desk. He had his arms and legs crossed while perched on Kagome's bed, a pose that normally made him look every inch a proud hanyou.

But this time, the blue bathrobe with a silhouette of a naked woman on the back kind of killed the effect.

'Grandpa...' Kagome shook her head in vague amusement at the sight.

"Well, at least Souta didn't see you." She remarked to his back. "He idolizes you so much that he might have tried dressing like you."

No response.

"Oh, Inuyasha! Quit sulking!" She admonished him. "It isn't so bad, really. So you made a mistake. It wasn't your fault since you don't know much about clothes in my time, so we shouldn't have laughed at you." She paused a moment before smiling mischievously. "Did you know that you have really nice legs?"

If Inuyasha had been blushing before, his whole face was on fire now. He nearly fell off the bed in his haste to turn around and splutter incoherent denials, although why he felt like he had to deny it, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that the thought of Kagome checking out his legs was making him think things that he REALLY shouldn't be thinking and that he needed to stop himself before he could do anything stupid!

Feeling bad that she'd teased him again, Kagome took pity on him and threw him the towel that was sitting on her desk, effectively shutting him up. "Here. Why don't you go get a bath, okay? Souta is probably finished with it by now, and my turn can wait. Just be sure that you don't get the soap and shampoo confused, okay?"

Nodding mutely, Inuyasha trudged towards the door, looking dazed.

"Oh, and Inuyasha! Don't forget that Souta needs to show you how to use the shower nozzle again just in case you've forgotten how to use it!" She called after him just as the door shut.

'Keh! As if I need that little brat to show me anything.' Inuyasha shook his head, obviously more in control now that he wasn't in the same room as Kagome. Now his rebellious I-need-help-from-no-one attitude was once again rearing its head. 'He's already shown me once, and even if it's been a long time, it can't be that hard.'

Locating the open bathroom door, Inuyasha entered and slammed it behind him.

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Ohhhhh goodness…I could really get myself in trouble if I were a lemon writer, couldn't I? Inuyasha is already cross-dressing, and it's only the third chapter! LOL, I am having so much fun with this story. It is nice, writing something for my own amusement without worrying about what other people are going to say. As long as I'm having fun, then if you guys don't like it, you don't have to read it!

So anyway, be sure and review and let me know what you thought! I'd love to know if you found it funny!


	4. Step 4: It wasn't what it looked like!

What a response I got for the last chapter! You liked it, you really liked it!

Well, okay, you liked the thought of Inuyasha wearing women's clothing (Perverts, you're all perverts! LOL), but that is what I was aiming for. Now with this chapter I can make Inuyasha and Kagome's lives just a little more miserable (you realize that I didn't say just Inuyasha this time), and hopefully earn a few more laughs in return. Have fun, and don't forget to leave me a review!

Oh yes, and before we get started, I just want to say that I am basing Inuyasha's bath on how the Japanese take theirs to the best of my knowledge. They wash themselves off first with a 'shower' of sorts, before soaking in the bath.

Eh, I'm sure if you've watched enough anime, you know what I mean...

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Disclaimer: No, I don't own Inuyasha, but for just once in my life, couldn't something I say really be a result of denial, or me being delusional? I wouldn't mind being considered crazy as long as I really owned him…

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Four

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Maybe he should have gotten some help from Souta, after all...

Not that Inuyasha would ever admit to anyone that he actually needed help with something. That would be too much like admitting a weakness, something the very self-reliant hanyou had learned to despise. But for the life of him, he just couldn't seem to remember how to use that miserable water spraying contraption on the wall!

"Dammit!"

After spraying himself with scalding hot water for the third time, Inuyasha was ready to tear something apart. That 'something' preferably being a certain monk...

"It's his fault that I'm going through all this hell in the first place!" Inuyasha muttered while attempting to adjust the water temperature again and hissing when his efforts failed and he nearly burned himself again. "If I ever get my hands on him, I'm going to make him SUFFER..."

Granted, it would never actually happen since Inuyasha didn't plan on getting within touching distance of Miroku for a long, long time.

But it was nice to dream.

Frowning as he twisted one of the shower handles, Inuyasha couldn't help but focus on the most disturbing result of Miroku's sudden decision to give up women. And believe it or not, it wasn't the possibility that Miroku might be start groping him that was bothering the hanyou the most.

It was the fact that the less and less Miroku acted like a pervert, the more Inuyasha started acting like one instead.

Somehow over the past several days, Inuyasha's brain had taken on a will of its own. It no longer listened to him when he tried to stomp down on those urges to stare when Kagome's outfits were more revealing than usual, or when he tried to stop himself from day dreaming about those few glimpses he'd gotten of Kagome while she was bathing some hot spring or another.

"Well, at least this'll prove that I really am interested in women, if nothing else..." Inuyasha grumbled under his breath, remembering Kagome's comments from several days earlier. He still couldn't believe she'd accused him of never showing interest in her! He was always careful to protect her, right? And even if he DID see Kikyo occasionally, he always came back to Kagome in the end.

His eyes darkened bitterly at the thought of the living, yet dead, miko that used to haunt his every waking thought.

The truth of the matter was, as much as a part of him would always love Kikyo, the greater part of him was beginning to understand and accept that they could never go back to what had been. And he knew that Kikyo was realizing that as well as she gradually dropped her hunt for vengeance against him and started focusing on the real enemy. Things had changed between them to much for them to ever recall it. The small amount of trust they'd had was gone with the events of the past, and she was no longer the same girl he'd once fallen in love with. But then, he had changed as well.

Because of Kagome.

If it weren't for her, he'd still be the same as he'd been fifty years ago. Bitter, angry at the world, completely alone...

And pinned to a tree by a mystical arrow, but he chose not to dwell on that point.

Though the girl obviously didn't see it, he HAD shown Kagome how much he cared about her, just in his own way. Whether through protection, or just by staying close enough to actually let her slam his face into the ground with a word (after all, shikon no tama or no, any other demon/hanyou would have run off long ago rather than let a human have such control over them), he'd given her some proof of his affection, right? So maybe he wasn't good at expressing his feelings like a human would, but that didn't mean they weren't there!

As if to emphasis that last, highly frustrated thought, he gave a sharp tug on the shower nozzle he was holding in his right hand.

Maybe just a little TOO sharp...

"Aaaaaahhhhh, DAMMIT!" He shouted as broken tile rained around him. His inhuman strength had caused him to pull the nozzle right out of the wall, along with one of the pipes hidden behind the tile. As a result the pipe broke, and water starting spraying EVERYWHERE.

Looking around frantically while keeping his ears flattened so water wouldn't get in them, he tried to figure out what he needed to do to stop the water. Desperately, he tried turning the handles.

Nothing.

"Inuyasha?" A knock suddenly sounded on the door, causing Inuyasha's feelings on panic to increase. "What's going on in there? I heard you yelling about something-"

"I'm fine, go away!"

"But-"

"I said I'm fine!" He growled out, trying to talk while blocking the water that was spraying in his face.

Frowning, Kagome listened to the odd sounds coming from the bathroom while she tried to decide if Inuyasha was telling her the truth or not. Something about the sound of the water seemed really, really off...

"Oi, Kagome?!?!"

The girl snapped out of her intense musing to hear Inuyasha rather frantically call her name. "What?"

"How the hell do you stop the water if those handle things don't work?!?"

Kagome felt her blood run cold.

Then without thinking, she flung open the bathroom door.

"Oh...my...God!"

She covered her mouth in horror at the sight that met her eyes, before quickly gathering her wits and running to turn the handles for herself to see if they really weren't working anymore.

Thankfully, the water shut off without a hitch.

"How'd you do that?" Inuyasha questioned Kagome with a sullen glare as she attempted to clear water from her eyes. "It didn't work when I turned 'em!"

"You were probably turning them the wrong way, idiot." She managed to dry her eyes enough to return his glare tenfold. "How in the WORLD did you manage to pull the pipe out of the wall like that, anyway? Mama is going to KILL-"

Her voice came to a sudden halt and her eyes widened in horror once again as she really looked at Inuyasha for the first time since entering the bathroom. And boy, did she get an eye full...

"YOU'RE NAKED!" She shrieked loudly, covering her eyes as a fierce blush stained her cheeks. A matching one covered Inuyasha's face and they both turned away from each other, trying to recover a bit of dignity. Not that either of them had any left at this point, but hey...

"W-well what'd you expect, stupid?" Inuyasha spluttered, trying to come up with one of his usual rude retorts and fill the awkward silence. "I was taking a bath, so of course I was naked! You're the one who just barged in here without asking!"

Kagome moaned. "Why me? First I had to see you wearing my mother's clothes, and then naked!"

Inuyasha whirled around to glare at her back. "Oi, you make it sound like a bad thing that you got to see me naked!"

"But I'm too YOUNG to see a naked guy!" She wailed.

Inuyasha opened his mouth to point out that he'd seen HER naked plenty of times, and it hadn't caused his eyes to rot out or anything like she seemed to think hers would. But for better or for worse (after all, who knew what kind of deadly reaction saying such a thing would have caused), they were interrupted at that very moment by, of all people-

Kagome's mother.

"What is all the noise about?" She called out, heading down the hall and towards the open bathroom door. In her rush to turn off the water, Kagome had left the bathroom door wide open for anyone to walk right in or possibly just get an eye full as they passed.

"Get dressed, quick!" Kagome hissed frantically without turning around to look at the naked hanyou behind her. Instead, she ran to the door, hoping to waylay her mother before she could enter the bathroom.

"Kagome, what in the world is going on in there? I thought I heard yelling..."

For once, Inuyasha actually attempted to do something Kagome told him to without putting up a fight, but the whole world seemed to be against Inuyasha that day, including the borrowed robe he'd been wearing earlier.

He just couldn't seem to find the sleeves!

Kagome laughed nervously while sending a quick prayer for the floor to open up and swallow Inuyasha before her mother could see him. "I'm sorry, mama. I was taking a bath and stubbed my toe..." She cringed at the rather pathetic excuse.

"Oh?" Her mother looked concern. "You must have hurt it very badly for you to yell so loudly. We'd better take a look at it."

Grabbing Kagome by the arm, her mother pushed her back towards the bathroom while trailing behind her.

"No! Mama! It really doesn't hurt anymore, so you don't have to-"

"Nonsense." She frowned when Kagome braced her hands on the doorway of the bathroom so she wouldn't get pushed any farther. "You need to let me look at it. You come home all the time after nearly facing death at the hands of some horrible demon, so it would be very anti-climatic for you to be done in by a stubbed toe that wasn't taken care of properly."

Kagome nearly fell over at that, giving her mother the advantage she needed to herd Kagome all the way into the bathroom.

They were just in time to see Inuyasha hastily tying the robe's belt around his waist.

"Inuyasha!" Mrs. Higurashi stopped pushing her daughter long enough to stare at the furiously blushing and very wet hanyou. "What are you doing in here? I thought Kagome said she was taking a bath-"

The younger girl gulped audibly, not liking the look her mother was getting. She'd stare at Kagome, and then at Inuyasha, before letting her gaze go back to Kagome again. Her eyes took in the fact that Kagome was soaking wet, as well as Inuyasha, the bathroom was a mess, and both looked terribly guilty. Not to mention the loud shouting she'd heard earlier.

What else was a mother supposed to think?

"Kagome, Inuyasha, I think you two need to clean up this mess and then meet me in the kitchen. The three of us need to have a little talk."

She gave them both a pointed look, clearly telling them that if they tried to run away, she'd hunt them down across time if she had to.

The two teens nodded silently, knowing they were trapped.

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The table was silent save the quiet trickling sounds made as Kagome's mother poured them each a hot cup of tea.

She wasn't saying anything to the nervous pair sitting across the table from her, and neither of them could bring themselves to start the conversation. Kagome was too busy figuring out how she could blame the whole thing on Inuyasha without sounding too petty (Well, he was the one that broke the pipe!), and Inuyasha was trying to decide if Kagome's mother really COULD hunt him down on the other side of the well if he decided to make a run for it.

They were both startled when Mrs. Higurashi finally decided to speak.

"I have to say, I am very upset with both of you right now." She told them seriously, making Kagome wince and Inuyasha's ears flatten. "I've trusted both of you more than another mother in my position probably would have, and this in how you repay me?"

Kagome nearly burst into tears right then. She wasn't sure why her mother was making such a huge deal over Inuyasha breaking the water pipe, but she was doing a great job of making her feel guilty.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, could only think about how quickly he might be able to make it to the well if he really pushed himself.

"I've welcomed you into my home, Inuyasha, and I've trusted you completely with my daughter's care. I even allowed you to sleep in her room, though I had reservations about it. But I knew that I could trust the two of you to do the right thing. Or, at least, I thought I could."

Now Kagome was feeling a little lost. What did all this have to do with what happened in the bathroom?

Inuyasha gazed longingly out the window.

Mrs. Higurashi folded her hands in front of her, and it made her look almost as if she were pleading. "Why, Kagome? Why couldn't you have just trusted your mother more? Why did I have to find out about you and Inuyasha like this, instead of telling me formally as you should have?"

The pair across from her stiffened.

"Not to say that I'm not happy to finally have you as a son, Inuyasha." She gave them both a watery smile, on the verge of tears. "But I was hoping for wedding, and a chance to have a talk with Kagome about the birds and the bees. I suppose it's too late for that, though."

Inuyasha blinked. What the hell did birds and bees have to do with anything?

Kagome gasped, her face turning red as she worked really hard to ignore the confused hanyou sitting beside her, least she turn even redder. "NO! Mama, it isn't too late! We weren't doing..." She paused, not quite sure how to word it. "We weren't doing THAT in the bathroom! We were just-"

"Kagome! How do you explain the fact that BOTH of you were in there, soaking wet, being loud, and making such a mess?" She turned to Inuyasha. "The next time the two of you decide to do anything like that, I need to ask you to be more careful. I know it's easy to get caught up in the passion of the moment, but please try a little harder to control your strength, okay dear?"

"Huh?" Inuyasha responded intelligently.

"MOM!" Kagome hissed. "I'm telling you the truth! We did not...have...SEX!" She shouted the last part, slamming both hands on the table at the same time to emphasize her point. She hated being so blunt, but she couldn't figure out any other way to get through to her mother.

When Inuyasha heard the word sex, anyone watching him could have sworn he turned to stone. Every single muscle in his body froze.

His mind, though, never stopped moving.

'Sex...Kagome's mother actually thinks we had sex...she thinks we did THAT together...' He couldn't seem to form any really relevant thoughts, and he seemed to be in a state similar to shock.

Kagome and her mother were arguing, but Inuyasha didn't really hear any of it. All he could do was go over the same thought in his mind again and again. He and Kagome...Kagome and he...they...

What did he really think about her mother making such an assumption? Was he embarrassed? Shocked? Upset? Did he have the urge to frantically deny it like he usually seemed to when someone would make a personal assumption about his and Kagome's relationship?

The answer to these questions shocked him more than anything else could have.

He didn't mind.

He didn't want to deny it.

Even if it wasn't true, the idea of people thinking Kagome belonged to him and that he had a solid claim in her appealed to him.

"Inuyasha? Hey, snap out of it!"

The hanyou was so bowled over by the revelations occurring in his mind that it took several moments of Kagome shaking his shoulder for him to snap out of his daze and look at her.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried in exasperation when she was finally sure that she had his attention. "Did you hear me? I said for you to tell mama that we didn't do anything in the bathroom, and that we haven't done anything period! She won't listen to me!"

Both women then waited expectantly for him to say something, whether it be in support of Kagome's claims, or against them.

Steeling his resolve, he clenched his fists and looked down at the table top in front of him before muttering something in a voice so low that both listeners almost missed it completely.

"We'll be more careful next time."

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Oh my goodness, Inuyasha really has lost his mind, hasn't he? Another step closer to becoming a pervert! After all, not denying that you slept with someone sounds like something Miroku would do, doesn't it? LOL, I suppose this is something of a cliffhanger, because now I'm sure you are all wondering if he'll still be alive when the next chapter rolls around! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! As always, review and let me know what you think. I'm having so much fun writing this story!


	5. Step 5: Can I take a bath with you?

Thank you guys so much for the wonderful reviews! I knew I was playing with fire when I wrote what Inuyasha said at the end of the last chapter, and I half expected to get things thrown at me for letting Inuyasha say something so horrible. But all of you are terribly sadistic, I see, because you all seemed to find the situation really entertaining. Instead of pity for the poor idiot, most of you were going "Ohhh! Is he gonna die by Kagome's hands? HAHAHA!"

I guess that shows that I'm not the only one around here with a twisted sense of humor...

But anyway, I am sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I'm getting so close to finishing my other story, that I've been concentrating on that one and ignoring this one a lot. But I did warn you guys that this is my 'just for fun' story, so I'm not as concerned about getting updates out very fast.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but perhaps I soon will. Like Naraku's evil powers grow every time he adds a jewel shard to his collection, my evil powers grow every time I add another chapter to this story, lol...

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Five

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'You are such an idiot.'

"Shut up." Inuyasha grumbled under his breath.

The small voice in Inuyasha's head was back with a vengeance as the hanyou followed Kagome after exiting the well, but this time it wasn't encouraging him in perverted pursuits like it usually was. Instead, it was making him feel like a complete and utter fool, or at least more of one than he already did.

'You just HAD to go and lie about something like that to her mother of all people! Not her friends, or Sango and Miroku, or even other members of her family, but her MOTHER. What kind of moron are you, anyway?'

"I said shut up!" He muttered a little more loudly that before, but still low enough that Kagome couldn't hear him arguing with himself. "And I didn't lie! Well, not exactly...I just told her that we'd be quieter next time. I never said WHAT we'd be doing quieter."

'Okay, so maybe you didn't exactly lie. But you didn't tell the truth, either! You intentionally misled Kagome's mother about something that you knew would upset Kagome.'

"Yeah, and?" His face became a defensive mask, reflecting his internal battle and making it even more obvious that he knew he'd screwed up big time. He always got defensive when he wrong about something, but refused to actually admit it.

'Maybe you thought it was the right thing to do at the time, but remember the look on Kagome's face after you said it? You're lucky to be alive!'

This gave Inuyasha a pause, and a cold chill skated down his spine at the memory of Kagome's face the day before when he'd finally found the guts to look up from the surface of the table.

At first her dumbfounded expression reflected her shock at his answer. It was obviously the last thing she'd ever expected him to say in such an embarrassing and compromising situation. But after the initial surprise wore off, her face took on such a large range of emotions in such a short span of time that it would have done any PMSing woman proud. First a mixture of shyness and embarrassment with a glimmer of hope, and then horror when she realized her mother was nodding in satisfaction that someone had finally admitted the truth to her. Finally, her eyes started burning with the fires of hell, and Inuyasha knew without a doubt that he'd never seen anyone so angry before.

Not even Kikyo had looked that angry with him after being revived.

But what made him frightened above all else was that after her initial 'I'm-going-to-chop-you-into-tiny-pieces-and-gift-wrap-them-for-Naraku' expression, she just turned and walked away without saying a single word to him, and still hadn't. Not even to use the subduing spell.

That was something that puzzled (and worried) him to no end.

As strange as it felt to actually want to get sat, he knew he'd probably feel better if she'd just flatten him a few dozen times and get it over with. Anything would be better than the cold shoulder and her refusing to speak to him!

The only thing that gave him even a slight hope of ever being able to make things right again were the expressions he recalled seeing on her face before she'd gotten angry. There had been that small glimmer of hope, almost as if she'd finally seen the chance to have something that she'd considered out of her reach. Something that she longed to have.

He knew that Kagome had some feelings for him, and the fact that someone like her could care about someone like him never ceased to amaze Inuyasha. But the knowledge of her feelings obviously hadn't made the hanyou any less clueless where his own for her were concerned. He just couldn't understand why she acted like she didn't know how he felt. But how could she not? He'd certainly done enough to show her!

"Damn women." He grumbled. "Why do they have to make everything to complicated?"

He was still muttering rude things about females in general when the pair finally reached Kaede's small hut near the village shrine.

"Kagome-chan!" A familiar, welcoming voice called out.

For the first time in what felt like years, the school girl smiled at the sight of her friends sitting in the shade of the little wooden shack. Sango was sitting with Kirara in her lap and Shippo leaning against her leg, obviously taking an afternoon nap while they waited for their missing companions to arrive. Beside Sango, Miroku was calmly sitting as if in meditation, though he opening his eyes when he heard Kagome's name called.

As the girl and hanyou got closer, they both noticed that there didn't seem to be any sign of bruises, bumps, handprints, or any other kinds of injuries on the monk, which was strange when one considered how closely he was sitting to Sango. It seemed that Miroku was more serious about his vow than any of his companions had originally suspected.

Kagome still wasn't sure whether she should be happy or worried about that fact.

The sight of all her feudal age friends (even Miroku) was a welcome one to the future girl, but out of them all, she had to admit that she was happiest to see Sango. Especially because she really needed another girl to talk to at the moment, and preferably one that would maim Inuyasha for her if given the right incentive.

"Sango-chan!" After sufficiently greeting everyone and handing the still half asleep Shippo a treat, Kagome turned on the other girl and gave her the most pathetic puppy dog eyes she could muster. "Let's go to the river and take a bath, please?"

"A bath?" Shippo cried. "But Kagome, you just got here! Didn't you take one at your home like you usually do?"

Sighing, Sango ignored the tiny kitsune's outburst and nodded her head in agreement before rising to gather her bathing supplies. "Wait here, Kagome-chan. I'll be back in a moment."

When it was clear that the younger girl would wait for her, Sango walked off towards Kaede's hut with a thoughtful expression. Any idiot could tell that there was something wrong with the recently returned pair, the way Kagome was determinedly ignoring Inuyasha, and the way the hanyou was sulking and attempting to hide the guilty look on his face just screamed it. And whatever the problem was, Sango was sure that Kagome would want to talk about it. The demon slayer knew the other girl like the back of her hand, and Kagome ALWAYS wanted to take a bath when she needed to talk privately.

"Hey, Kagome?" Shippo tugged on the edge of his favorite group member's skirt after Sango had walked away. "Can I please go, too? I don't wanna stay here with HIM!" Turning, Shippo made a face at Inuyasha, which showed that even he'd picked up on the fact that Inuyasha had done something to really tick Kagome off.

In response to his request, the school girl leaned over and patted the little kitsune on the head. "I'm sorry, Shippo-chan, but not this time. I really need to talk to Sango-chan, okay? I promise that you can come next time!"

Unable to help himself, Inuyasha let out a rude snort to show his opinion of the impending conversation as well as to hide his nervousness. He knew very well that Kagome was about to tell Sango what he'd done, and an angry Sango could be ten times worse than an angry Kagome.

He'd be lucky if he lived to see the night fall.

From his spot under the tree, Miroku was able to watch everything that occurred with silent interest, including Inuyasha's reaction. Like everyone else, the monk couldn't help but wonder what might have happened between the two. But instead of choosing to eavesdrop on Sango and Kagome's conversation, he decided to try getting the juicy details out of Inuyasha after the girls left. He eyed the hanyou speculatively as he waited for the opportunity to talk.

'What the hell is that look for?' Inuyasha chanced a glance at the monk and felt another chill race down his spine when his eyes met Miroku's. Unfortunately, he'd been getting a lot of those lately where the other male was concerned. 'I swear, if that idiot even THINKS of coming near me, I'll...'

'You'll what, hit him?' Inuyasha could almost swear the little voice in the back of his head was laughing at him. 'Haven't you learned anything by now? That pervert LIKES to get knocked around. You've seen the way he acts we he gets beat on by Sango!'

The grumpy half-demon hated to admit it, but the voice had another good point. He'd never really thought of it before, but Miroku practically seemed to invite women to hit him! Why else would he go around antagonizing a woman as strong as Sango?

'Damn.' Inuyasha's face took on a deep scowl. 'If I can't hit him, how else am I supposed to defend myself? The girls would kill me if I used my claws or my sword...'

Just then, Sango returned to the group and gave Kagome a questioning look. "Ready to go to the river?"

An enthusiastic nod was her response.

When the two girls started to walk off down the path leading to their destination, alarms went off in Inuyasha's head at the realization that he would left alone with Miroku. Shippo had already wondered with Kirara to look for Kaede since she was much better company than either of the men, and now his last line of defense was headed off to take a bath.

To make things worse, Miroku was giving him that 'look again, the one that made his skin crawl.

"Inuyasha-" The monk waited until the women were out of sight before he attempted to talk to the rather panicked looking hanyou. "Why don't you sit down? I want to ask about you and Kagome-sama." He patted the ground Sango had vacated earlier in hopes that Inuyasha would satisfy his curiosity.

Of course, Inuyasha didn't budge. He just continued to stand there like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. A very BIG truck...

"Inuyasha? Is something wrong?" Miroku almost smirked, so amused was he at the other man's expression. He guessed that Inuyasha must have done something REALLY bad to earn Kagome's wrath if he was that afraid of talking about it, and that made his need to know stronger than ever. "Come and sit down, I promise I won't bite." He joked.

In the time it took Miroku to blink, Inuyasha vanished.

"Now what was that all about?" He wondered, looking around the area in puzzlement. "Was it something I said?"

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Inuyasha shuddered as he ran, unable to get the terrible mental images from his head that Miroku's little statement had caused. Why'd he have to go and say something like THAT, anyway? Weren't his hands more than enough to worry about without adding other body parts into the mix?

Life would have been so much simpler, had Miroku remained a womanizing pervert.

Well, for him, anyway.

It had always frustrated and annoyed the hanyou to no end when Miroku would grope or hit on Kagome. The only thing that kept Inuyasha from killing the idiot was the fact that Kagome showed absolutely no interest in the priest or in bearing his child. In fact, she really seemed to hate it when he touched her or made any unwanted advances.

Now, as for Kouga...

Growling under his breath at the thought, he continued to run blindly in a random direction before vaguely noting that at the speed he was going, it wouldn't be long before he reached the river...

Wait, the river?!?

The hanyou just barely managed to screech to a halt before crashing into the unsuspecting girls in front of him on the path, though it wasn't his most graceful move to date. Actually, it was probably one of his least graceful since his face ended up planted in the dirt right next to Kagome's feet, with her staring down at his (now dirty) white hair in shock.

Had she said his subduing word without realizing it? She couldn't help but wonder...

"Inuyasha?" Kagome kneeled down in concern, momentarily forgetting her anger as she touched the back of his head. "Are you okay?"

At first her inquiry was met with silence, before his head finally lifted to reveal his dirt-covered face. After spitting out a few leaves and a bit of tree bark, he growled. "Dammit, I'm fine!"

The anger in his voice wasn't lost on the two girls, but they couldn't figure out for the life of them what his problem was, or how he'd ended up there in that situation in the first place. Had he been following them for some reason? It didn't seem very likely. Normally Miroku was the one to do things like that when he knew that they would be taking a bath, not Inuyasha. He had always given them the impression that he'd rather let Sesshoumaru cut out both his eyes than sneak a peek at them while they were naked.

But then, he HAD been acting rather strange, lately...

Once the hanyou was sitting up and had regained a small amount of his dignity, Sango decided to question him. "Did you need something, Inuyasha?"

His ears flattened. How the heck was he going to explain this? No way was he gonna sink so low as to tell them that he'd been running away from Miroku like a coward!

"Well?" Kagome had joined in the 'let's make Inuyasha squirm' game.

He looked from one girl to the other, frantically trying to come up with a good reason as to why he'd been following them. Not that he really had been following them, but it isn't like they would believe that, would they? Inuyasha flinched when Kagome started tapping her foot and glaring at him impatiently.

"I, uh..." He put on what he hoped was his most intimidating expression. "I just wanted a bath, too! You gotta problem with that?"

He didn't realize that he'd said something so stupid until Kagome and Sango's eyes both widened in shock, then narrowed in anger.

"What were you planning to do, take a bath with us?"

"I never knew you were such a pervert, Inuyasha!"

"You're worse than Miroku!"

"Way worse! The way you've been acting lately, you're starting to make Miroku look like a perfect angel!"

He flinched, not knowing how to respond to their angry accusations. The ones about him being worse than Miroku especially hurt since he'd always prided himself on being above the monk's depraved ways. It's not like he'd meant for any of those things to happen! They just DID! Why did he always have to get blamed for his bad luck?

"Inuyasha..."

Perhaps if he just stayed quiet, Kagome would sit him a few times and leave it at that. Then they could forget it ever happened.

He waited for the inevitable pain.

"What's wrong with you?"

The hanyou blinked stupidly. He couldn't have heard her right. Had he gotten dirt in his ears from the fall?

Kagome was kneeling down again in front of Inuyasha, a worried expression on her face as she reached out to touch his shoulder. "You've been acting so odd lately that I can't help but worry about you! Are you sick? Has something happened that you aren't telling us?" She moved her hand from his shoulder and up to his face, causing Inuyasha's breathing to become short and raspy. The effect of her touch escaped Kagome's notice. "You know you can tell us anything, right? We're your friends..."

He licked his dry lips, his breathing becoming even shallower than before. She was so close to him that if he moved forward just a little bit-

"So this is where you got to, Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha cursed under his breath and Miroku's ill-timed arrival. The dark-haired man had just come up the path behind Inuyasha, but due to his 'distraction' he had failed to notice. Her voice, her scent, her expression...everything about her had filled his senses so completely that he'd even forgotten about Sango's presence for several moments. It was unlike him to let himself get so completely distracted that he'd failed to monitor his surroundings for danger, and Miroku was definitely a danger in his mind.

Why the hell had he lost his senses like that?

Kagome watched a wide range of expressions cross the face of the man in front of her. They ranged from surprised, angry, worried, and even something she couldn't quite identify. But whatever it was, it had been intense before Miroku had arrived. It almost reminded her of that expression he'd worn once not long after they'd first met. The one he'd had when he'd almost kissed her while thinking about Kikyo.

Kikyo...was THAT what he had been thinking about before Miroku arrived? She couldn't stop herself from glaring at him.

'Dammit, why the hell does she look mad all of the sudden? Did she realize I was about to-' He felt a stab of pain somewhere deep in his chest. Is that why she was upset? Because she didn't want him to kiss her? Of course, he'd made her so angry the day before that she probably wouldn't want him near her ever again, especially like that.

Abruptly, Inuyasha jumped to his feet and without a single word to anyone, ran back in the direction of the village.

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Hehe, a little more silliness and even some angst for your enjoyment! I know this story has got to be one of the more insane, pointless Inuyasha fictions in existence, but it is a fun break from my other stories. I would have had this chapter finished long ago if I hadn't had trouble with one minor detail, grr...but once I decided to take it in another direction, it ended up working out so I'm happy! Be sure to leave me a review and let me know if I managed to make any dull days a little more fun. And hey, even if I didn't, you could always just review and tell me how many times you rolled your eyes, lol...


	6. Step 6: Are you attracted to women?

And I'm back, hopefully with a new chapter that will move along the plot more. At least, more noticeably than before. I know some of you think that the plot really isn't going anywhere, but it really is. All those little things that have occurred in the story are leading up to something, I just can't say what without spoiling things. But you'll find out in this chapter anyway, so there really is no reason for me to tell. And believe me, the story will have several interesting twists later on, I just can't rush it or it won't work.

Okay! Now that the serious stuff is out of the way...

Enjoy the new chapter!

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Disclaimer: Inuyasha and company are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. The only thing I can claim ownership of is my muse, but even it comes and goes as it pleases and won't allow me to order it around. Can't an author get any respect around here?

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Six

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"Sango, tell me honestly...am I losing my mind, or is it Inuyasha that's lost his?"

The girl speaking gave her friend an honestly confused looking, telling Sango that her question was meant to be serious. Kagome was extremely concerned over the recent events having to do with Inuyasha, and rightly so. Something odd was definitely going on.

But what?

"Kagome-chan, after everything you've told me, I'm going to guess that the problem is Inuyasha's and not yours." She paused to rinse herself off, shivering rather violently at the overly cool water. "He's been doing a lot of strange things lately, and it all started around the end of our last shard hunt, am I right?" She waited for Kagome to nod her head in agreement. "Well, all I can say is that we'd better keep a close eye on him. Perhaps if we do, we'll be able to figure out what his problem is and fix it before things get out of hand."

Kagome shot Sango a dry look. "Before things get out of hand? A little late for that, I'd say."

The older girl laughed. "I see what you mean. By the way, if you ever want me to throttle Inuyasha for you, just say the word."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." Kagome had a smile on her face, just what Sango had been aiming to accomplish. Her friend was much too upset about all the recent events, and she hated to see the usually happy girl so worried. Kagome had been so angry with the hanyou when they have arrived earlier that day, but now all she was showing was concern for him. It was almost as if she'd never been mad at all.

Sango knew things must be bad for Kagome to let go of her anger so easily.

As the two girls continued to bathe and talk, Sango was sorely temped to tell Kagome exactly what was on her mind, but refrained. She didn't want to give any false hope or place the blame on anyone prematurely, but Sango was fairly confident that she knew what was going on with Inuyasha. More than a few sneaking suspicions were clamoring around in her head...

And they all lead back to one person.

The girls were just getting dressed when a slight rustle in the bushes closest to the river caught Sango's attention, but she made no move to acknowledge it.

Yes, she had her suspicions...

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Miroku smiled blissfully as he walked in the direction of the village.

Things were working out better for him than he ever could have imagined, and it was all thanks to Inuyasha and his overactive imagination. Who would have ever thought that the brave, courageous hanyou they all knew could be reduced to a coward at the mere thought of Miroku touching him in a more than casual way...? The idea was almost ludicrous, but undeniably true.

Miroku was obviously one of the sharper members of the group, so it didn't take long for him to put two and two together after witnessing Inuyasha's behavior. Admittedly, he'd also had a bit of help from Shippo during a conversation they'd had while Kagome and Inuyasha were absent.

The kitsune had, in passing, mentioned what had been said by Kagome and Sango after Miroku's startling declaration. While the idea made Miroku's stomach churn, it also amused him that anyone could think him capable of doing such a thing. After all, in his eyes, no man's body could ever hope to compare to a woman's soft, sensual curves. (No, not even Sesshoumaru, as beautiful as he is)

After briefly entertaining a few thoughts on the subject, Miroku had quickly forgotten about it.

That is, until now.

Originally when Miroku had made his decision to swear of women, he hadn't really been serious. But he had been getting so frustrated lately with everyone taking his actions for granted that an idea about how to change that had occurred to him and he acted upon it almost without thinking. At first he'd cursed himself for his stupidity, but slowly realized what advantages the situation might have. If he could get them to believe that he was completely serious about his efforts in swearing off women, then he was sure the women would start letting their guard down around him after a while.

Like they had done that very day, in fact.

Miroku smiled again at the memory of the two women bathing, the cold water making certain 'features' the two women possessed especially attractive and alluring. It wasn't often he got the chance to see them in their full glory without getting a concussion, and actually, that was probably the first bath he'd ever gotten to watch from start to finish.

He knew how to take advantage of a good thing when he saw one.

Nearly laughing out loud, Miroku suddenly remembered what he had said earlier that had antagonized Inuyasha to the point of causing him to run away. At the time he really hadn't meant anything by it, but it had certainly worked out to his advantage in the end. If only everything were so easy.

"If I want things to continue as they are, I'm going to have to continue to cause Inuyasha worry. But can I?" He frowned, unsure if he could actually continue to bait the hanyou now that he was actually aware of what had been going on. Before he had been doing it completely by accident, but he knowingly keep it up? If nothing else, it would be terribly difficult to keep a straight face.

Recalling the mental image of a completely naked Sango, Miroku decided he would move heaven and earth to see that again.

So in order to continue his good luck, Miroku knew that he would have to egg Inuyasha on a bit, though the idea wasn't all that appealing. But if it earned him more viewing pleasure like he had just experienced, the sacrifice would be more than worth it.

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Dusk had fallen as everyone finally managed to gather back at Kaede's small hut for dinner. The meal was quiet, everyone too lost in the own problems, worries, and plotting to really notice anyone else. Well, except for the old woman and Shippo. She watched the group knowingly while the little fox cub paid attention to nothing but his food.

It was then that Miroku decided it was time to have a little fun at Inuyasha's expense.

"So why did you run away from me so suddenly today?" He was sure to stare directly at his victim with a hurt gaze, making it clear who he was talking to. "I had really wanted to talk to you privately, you know."

Inuyasha blanched, not sure he wanted to hear anymore of what Miroku had to say.

"Perhaps we should go for a walk later and talk then." Miroku punctuated his suggestion with an encouraging smile.

Kagome gave Miroku an odd look, but continued to eat her dinner without giving the oddness of his proposal much thought. Miroku always tended to be a little strange, so there was nothing usual about it this time. Inuyasha was the one she was concerned about at the moment.

Sango, on the other hand, listened intently to every word that Miroku directed towards Inuyasha, though she kept her attention subtle. It wouldn't be a good idea to call attention to the fact that she was suspicious, so she was careful to keep her attention on her food as well. If she gave the impression of being lost in thought like Kagome, she was sure Miroku wouldn't suspect a thing and continue on with his little game.

All she needed was a little more evidence...

After Miroku had put forth his suggestion, Inuyasha had felt a sharp stab of panic course though his chest. How the heck was he going to avoid this problem? It almost seemed as if Miroku was getting bolder with his advances, to the point that he was saying things in front of everyone...including Kagome! What if she got the wrong idea about them? What if she didn't CARE if what she thought was true or not?

That last possibility scared him the most, he realized.

Without really thinking his actions through, he started scooting across the floor towards Kagome, hoping he was being inconspicuous about it. The funny looks he got from Kagome and Kaede told him otherwise.

"What?" He snapped out defensively, earning a hurt glance from Kagome before she went back to staring at her food.

'Damn it, when am I ever gonna learn to just keep my big mouth shut?' He could have happily rammed his own head into a tree right then, anything to stop the stupid things he kept doing. He seemed to have a knack for always saying or doing the wrong thing.

Supressing the amused smile that was threatening to show itself, Miroku cleared his throat in an attempt to regain Inuyasha's attention. The tactic seemed to work as the half-demon's gaze snapped back to his in a near panic. He'd momentarily forgotten Miroku's little suggestion.

"Are you finished eating yet? I'd like to get started before it gets too late. We do have an early morning ahead of us, after all."

Glancing around the room as if he expected someone to save him, Inuyasha tried to find a way out of going with Miroku. What if he just flat out refused? Maybe that would get the lecher to leave him be.

"I don't wanna go, so just leave me alone." He growled out.

"But Inuyasha, it will only take a moment." He used his most trust-winning smile, the one that could get complete strangers to let him in their houses and give the group shelter while on their travels. "At least step outside with me, because there is something extremely important that I need to discuss with you."

Inuyasha opened his mouth to flat out refuse again, but Kagome beat him to speaking.

"Would you just go already? He's not going to leave you alone until you talk to him and I'd like to actually get some sleep tonight." She glared at the pair, still upset about Inuyasha being to rude to her earlier. She also just wanted to get some sleep and forget about everyone and their problems, at least for while. Surely Inuyasha could just give in and do what Miroku wanted, effectively putting and end to the fuss.

Inuyasha knew then that he was trapped. If he continued to be stubborn, Kagome would eventually get so ticked off that she'd either sit him or go home. Possibly both. And at the moment he didn't feel like risking either, so he decided the best thing to do would be to take his chance with Miroku. He would just stay very, very far away from the other man.

Once outside, (Inuyasha refused to be the first one out because he didn't want Miroku behind him) Miroku sat down under a tree not far from the hut while Inuyasha decided that the safest location for him would be IN the tree.

Miroku decided to get right to the point. "You know, Inuyasha, I have been doing a lot of thinking about you lately."

The hanyou in tree stiffened, but said nothing.

"I've realized something very surprising about you and I couldn't help but wonder about it." Once again, he had to force back a smile that threatened to break loose. "Inuyasha, answer me honestly. Do you like women?"

Of all the shocking things Miroku could have said, that wasn't one that Inuyasha had been expecting. He balked, not sure how dangerous it would be to answer such a question, or even HOW to answer it. What if he screwed up and said too much about his feeling for Kagome, or even worse, ended up giving Miroku the wrong idea somehow? Neither option sounded too appealing at the moment.

Noticing Inuyasha's lack of response, Miroku decided to elaborate in hopes of pushing the other man to respond. "I know that this is an odd question coming from me, but to the way I used to behave, you always erred on the side of propriety. Even if you did get accused of doing something perverted, it was never intentional on your part." Knowing what he was about to say would be the icing on the cake, Miroku barely refrained from rubbing his hands together in glee as he spoke. "You know, Inuyasha, I don't think I have ever met a man who has shown such little interest in the female anatomy. It is rather startling, and causes me to wonder..."

"You idiot, of COURSE I'm attracted to women!" He shouted, hoping to stop Miroku before he could say anymore.

The man sitting on the ground feigned surprise. "You are? From the way you act, I never would have guessed-"

Inuyasha was nearly seething. "What the hell do I have to do to prove it to you, huh? Grope women? Act like you used to?" He glared down at Miroku, tempted to bring the tree down on his head. "Answer me, dammit!"

Miroku raised his hands in a placating gesture, hoping to calm the white-haired man in the tree before he resorted to bodily harm. He knew his friend's temper well enough to realize he might have pushed a bit too far. It was too late to back down, though, so he kept going with his plan. "Please, calm down Inuyasha. I didn't mean to make you so angry. I just wanted to hear the truth from you."

Inuyasha's breathing evened out a bit. Perhaps now Miroku would leave him alone!

"I have to admit, though I still have some doubts, you and Kagome-sama did seem terribly cozy on the river path today." He put a finger to his chin as if thinking deeply. "If given more irrefutable evidence such as that, I'm sure than all my doubts would be laid to rest."

Inuyasha suddenly had the urge to break something again. Preferably Miroku's face.

"You want evidence? Dammit, I'll give you evidence!" He shouted, jumping down to face Miroku in a fit of extreme anger. "And then if you EVER accuse me of anything like that ever again, I swear I won't be responsible for my actions, you got that?"

Miroku nodded, his eyes nearly crossing to stare at the clawed finger being pointed at his face. That claw looked terribly sharp...

Satisfied that Miroku wouldn't argue with him any further, Inuyasha stormed back towards Kaede's hut to join the others. He was gonna show that stupid pervert that he WAS interested in women and that he wasn't like THAT if it killed him!

And knowing Kagome's temper, it just might...

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Oh my goodness, I just finished and posted chapter five a few hours ago, and I already have chapter six completely finished! I'm terribly sleepy, but I was afraid that if I stopped, I'd end up taking forever to finish this chapter like I did the last one. I have a bad habit of losing my inspiration if I quit writing in the middle of a chapter...

Anyway, please review and let me know what you think!


	7. Step 7: Is that your hand on my CHEST?

I am SO sorry that I've taken so long to get a new chapter out. Between Hurricane Ivan (and the lovely clean up we had after that), going back to work full time suddenly, getting sick, and going to class a couple of nights week, I haven't felt like writing very much. I think this is the busiest I've been in a very long time, and it doesn't look like I'm going to get a break from it any time soon.

But I promise I will never abandon my stories! I love them and I enjoy writing them, so it drives me crazy when I don't have much time to work on them. LOL, who says having a life is a good thing?

As for mistakes, some have been pointed out to my by some people. Hopefully they will be corrected as soon as I sucker my mother into doing it, LOL! I've just been really lazy about getting her to look over this story like she does with all my others, and there is some kind of writing law that says mistakes in your own story are going to get by you no matter HOW many times you read over it. But thanks for the tips from everyone vigilant enough to catch them!

Have fun reading, and don't forget to review!

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Disclaimer: Who says that Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha? Do you see a dog collar with a tag stating this fact around his neck? The only collar I see is the one that Kagome put on him, so the only logical conclusion would be that she owns him, right? Of course, logic has no place around people who act like animated characters really exist...

* * *

**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Seven

The next day dawned bright and clear, the weather perfect for traveling. Everyone in the group was awake early, and they were determined to get a head start on a shard rumor that Miroku had gotten from a fairly reliable source. It would take them about a day and a half to reach their intended destination, and that was only if they traveled as quickly as possible and avoided stopping unless strictly necessary.

Obviously, that meant Kagome would have to ride on Inuyasha's back while Sango and Miroku rode Kirara.

The school girl wasn't sure she really wanted to be that close to Inuyasha, though normally she enjoyed getting the chance to travel that way. But he had been acting so odd lately that she was more than a little wary of what he might do. Admittedly, she was also still a little angry with him, so having to depend on Inuyasha to help her wasn't something she particularly relished.

As they moved swiftly through the forest, Kagome couldn't help but note that Inuyasha's palms, which were pressed firmly against the bare skin of her legs, seemed much more sweaty than normal. In fact, it was unusual for the hanyou to sweat much at all, unless he was in the middle of a high exertion battle. His ears were also staying pressed unusually close to his skull, showing that he was less concerned with staying aware of his surrounding than usual. Such things were normally a sure sign that he was worried about something, or extremely preoccupied.

But what in the world could possibly have him so distracted?

Glancing off to her right, Kagome could see Kirara, Sango, Shippo, and Miroku in the air just slightly higher than they were, and it gave the young girl the perfect vantage point to see everyone's faces. Shippo was clinging to the fire cat's head and looking rather silly with a goofy grin on his face, while behind him, Sango had an indiscernible expression on hers. Every now and then she would glance behind her at Miroku before looking back to the front.

As for him, Miroku had a very self-satisfied expression, and he would glance at Inuyasha occasionally with what could only have been amusement.

Kagome shook her head in confusion, unable to figure out why everyone around her seemed to be acting so odd. Well, Shippo was being fairly normal, but as for everyone else...what was their problem?

'I wonder if it would screw up history too much if I introduced the concept of therapy to this era...' She mused.

Heaven knows they all needed it.

Especially her.

**&&&**

It wasn't even noon yet, and Inuyasha had already discovered that trying to act like Miroku was a lot harder than it had first seemed.

No matter how hard he'd tried, every single idea that came to his mind ended up getting tossed to the side because of the simple fact that Inuyasha didn't have the courage to follow through with them. And for him, admitting that he didn't have the courage to do something was a hard pill to swallow.

He'd spent almost the entire night before staring at Kagome's sleeping form and trying to think of what he could do that would prove himself to Miroku once and for all. At first when he'd gotten started with his all night planning session, the hanyou had been optimistic that it wouldn't be too hard to come up with human courting tactics. After all, he'd witnessed such a thing plenty of times, right?

He had, all right, but it didn't take him long to realize that almost every example he could come up with featured Miroku and a very painful end result to whatever the perverted monk had tried.

Not exactly the best example to be followed by someone who actually wanted things to go well.

Of course, beyond the things he'd picked up from Miroku, Inuyasha knew a few basic ways that did work, like flowers, gifts, etc. But he knew things like that wouldn't go very far in getting the monk convinced that he really was serious no matter how much females liked them. Whatever he did, it had to have much more permanent results...something that would show Miroku that his attraction to Kagome was physical as well.

But how the heck could he accomplish something like that when he had no real idea of how to go about it beyond Miroku's bad example?

It was a tough question, indeed....and one that, until it could be answered, would leave Inuyasha with only one real option available to convince Miroku that he was serious. One that he REALLY didn't like...

He was going to have to sink to Miroku's level and just hope that Kagome wouldn't end up hating him for it. Or worse!

Inuyasha shivered at the thought of the damage she could do to him if she tried.

Even if he was being rather stupid about the whole situation, to Inuyasha's credit, in all of his plotting and planning geared towards proving himself to Miroku, he never once considered showing interest in just any girl to get the other man off his back, even to make things simpler for himself. After all, it would probably be easier for him to hit on a girl with whom no feelings were involved. Then it wouldn't matter if she ended up hating him or not.

But for the hanyou, the only one that had any place in his scheming was Kagome, and he was determined that if he HAD to make a fool of himself, it would be over her and nobody else.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's quiet voice suddenly spoke right in his ear, startling him out of his thoughts. She was leaning slightly forward against his right shoulder as if speaking in a normal human's ear. He chalked it up to habit and said nothing. "Can we go ahead and stop for lunch? I'm starting to get a cramp in my leg from not moving it."

"Keh! Whatever."

He sounded normal enough, but inside he was cursing himself for letting so much time pass without making any progress. He could feel Miroku's eyes on him again for what had to be the hundredth time that morning, and he was getting really sick of it. Something had to be done, and done SOON.

If not, Inuyasha would not be responsible for his actions towards the other man.

The group all managed to situate themselves in a loose circle before Kagome dug through her bag and handed out some ready to eat foods she had brought through the well. Kagome was seated between Miroku and Inuyasha with Shippo in her lap, while Sango sat opposite between the two men with Kirara. Not exactly a setup Inuyasha liked since he still wasn't quite over his paranoia of Miroku's wondering hands where Kagome was concerned, but it was certainly the lesser of two evils at the moment.

Surprisingly, everything was relatively normal until near the end of the meal when Inuyasha had taken a drink from their supply of water.

"Kagome-sama?" Miroku spoke up right after Inuyasha had replaced the cap and set down the bottle. "Could you please do me a favor and pass the water? These dried potatoes you brought are very good, but they quickly dry out a person's mouth." The whole time he spoke, he kept his eyes on Inuyasha instead of Kagome, the one he was actually speaking to.

"Sure." Kagome passed him the bottle, not noticing anything strange.

"Thank you." Unscrewing the cap, Miroku kept eye contact with Inuyasha as he took a deep, long drink of the lukewarm water. When he was finished, he slowly licked his lips in a very suggestive manner.

Several things then happened at once.

Having seen what passed between the two men, Sango nearly choked on her own food when she caught on to what Miroku was obviously trying to do, and Inuyasha was having much the same problem. Kagome, worried about both of her companions and their sudden choking grabbed the water bottle from Miroku and offered it to Inuyasha, who was the closest to her, only to have him knock the offending item away in a near panic.

Poor Sango ended up getting splashed with most of the bottles contents.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried, upset that he'd done such a thing when she had only been trying to help him. "What did you do that for? You got poor Sango all wet, and now we're going to have to get more water!"

"I-It's okay." Sango gasped out, still coughing a bit. For once, she didn't blame Inuyasha in the least for freaking out. "It was just a little water, Kagome-chan. It's not like I'm going to melt or anything." She smiled weakly at the frowning girl across from her and tried her hardest to ignore the muffled sounds of laughter coming from the soon-to-be-dead monk next to her. Shippo was also laughing, but no one paid any attention to him for once.

"Oi, stop laughing, bouzou!" Inuyasha was growling and looking very much like a cornered animal as he glared at the man across from him. "It was all your fault and you know it!"

Miroku let out one last sound of amusement before managing to return the exaggeratedly pious and innocent expression he usually wore back to his face. It must have taken every ounce of training he'd ever had to do it, too. "I really don't know what you are speaking of, Inuyasha. How could I have been the one to cause that little accident? Did you see me move, Kagome-sama?" He turned questioning eyes towards her.

"I...uh...." Why in the world was Miroku getting blamed by Inuyasha, and why was Sango glaring at the monk as if she agreed? What had started out as a simple accident in Kagome's eyes was beginning to look more and more suspicious. Was something going on that she didn't know about? They were all acting so strange...not that they didn't always act strange. Just worse than usual.

Kagome's eyes scanned the group warily. "Would someone please tell me what is going on here?"

Miroku blinked innocently at her, not at all shaken by her sudden suspicion. "Going on? Whatever do you mean, Kagome-sama?"

"Don't give me that. You guys are all acting really strange!" She gave everyone a hard stare, causing Inuyasha to squirm nervously. "I'll ask one more time. WHAT...IS...GOING...ON?"

Sango bit her lip in indecision as Inuyasha continued to fidget guiltily. Should she go ahead and tell Kagome what she thought was going on? Granted, she really didn't have any hard evidence beyond the things she'd been witnessing since the day before, but what else could be causing Inuyasha to act like he thought Miroku might jump him at any moment?

'But what if I'm wrong? I don't really want to embarrass anyone, and I still don't have a good reason WHY Miroku would be doing something so twisted as to make Inuyasha believe he...wants him.' Sango grimaced, the idea being more than a little disturbing to her. 'Maybe I'd better wait and confront Miroku first before I start making accusations in front of other people.'

Making her decision, Sango opened her mouth to respond when Miroku beat her to it.

"You are right, Kagome-sama. Something IS going on, and it is wrong of us to have kept it from you." He gazed at her, completely solemn and serious as he prepared to enlighten Kagome in some way or another. "You see, Inuyasha and I are-"

Sango caught a momentary flash of panic in Inuyasha's eyes before the hanyou suddenly lunged forward and did the last thing anyone would have ever thought him capable of.

He'd latched one of his clawed hands onto Kagome's chest.

Admittedly, his hand wasn't directly on Kagome's chest. It was actually a little above due to the fact that he just couldn't bring himself to be that brazen. But the fact that he'd even gotten that close to his intended target was shocking enough as it was.

The clearing was completely still and silent for several long moments.

"I-Inu-" Kagome stared at the face only a few inches from her own, acutely aware of where his hand was and unable to form a complete thought. Even saying something as simple as his name was proving to be a difficult task. "Inuyasha?"

"Ewww, get your hands off her, you disgusting pervert!" Shippo was clinging to Kagome's shoulder, opposite to the one closest to Inuyasha's hand. "Kagome, make him let go!"

Sango watched the whole scene with a shocked gaze. Who knew Inuyasha had it in him to do something like that when pressured hard enough? Poor guy must have been terrified that Miroku was about to say something really for him to react like that. Miroku...

Sharp eyes glanced towards the monk just as Kagome's face started to darken with anger at the horrified hanyou, and Sango noticed the self-satisfied smile that was spread across the dark-haired man's face while he thought no one was looking. So this was the result he was after when he almost told Kagome the truth about what was going on. He knew Inuyasha would probably panic and do something stupid without thinking anything through like he normally does.

Sango's faced darkened. 'We can't have him getting away with that...'

"Kagome-chan, stop!" The demon slayer cried out to her friend before she could yell Inuyasha's subduing word. He and Kagome both turned to stare at her, one expectant and the other almost hopeful as they stood comically frozen with his hand still on her chest. "You shouldn't be angry with Inuyasha. He...he..." She stopped for a moment, ransacking her brain for a viable excuse. "There was a spider on you and he was trying to kill it!"

'That was brilliant...' Sango had to refrain from slapping her forehead for her pathetic excuse.

Kagome blinked, her anger suddenly gone. "Is that what happened?"

Sango nodded in relief, thankful for the first time that Kagome could be terribly gullible on occasion. "Yeah, I saw it just before it happened. Ugly spider...really ugly...but small! So I guess that's why you didn't notice it."

"Oh." Kagome turned to look at Inuyasha. "Thank you, then."

As if he'd been burned, Inuyasha quickly removed his hand from her chest and tried to act as normal as he possibly could. "Keh. Whatever."

While all this had occurred, Miroku's smile had fallen momentarily. But as usual, he always managed to look on the bright side of things and realized that he'd made excellent progress. In all his plotting, he hadn't expected Inuyasha to attempt a grope so soon! Making a few mental calculations in his head, he figured that he'd have the hanyou making passes at Kagome like a pro in no time at all.

But one thing that did make him frown once again was Sango's unexpected interference. She was obviously on to him, no doubt about that. It was a very undesirable complication since he WAS doing this just for the chance to see her beautiful body without getting beaten to a pulp for it, but it was one he was almost sure he could deal with. He and Sango would have to have a little talk very soon...

Smiling widely at the group and causing Sango to give him a suspicious glance, Miroku suddenly stood up. "Well, now that our afternoon meal is out of the way, shall we move on?"

Yes, they would have to have a talk.

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Yay, I finally got another one finished! I loved how it turned out. The whole situation is just far too amusing to me, and it is only going to get more entertaining as we go. Especially once Sango and Miroku have their talk. Can you guess how he is going to explain his behavior to her, and actually manage to get her to allow him to continue without her spilling the beans to Kagome? Stay tuned to find out, and don't forget to review! 


	8. Step 8: I demand proof!

**A/N:** Yes, I really do feel terribly guilty for how long it has taken me to post anything new! So don't yell at me, okay? (not that I can hear you anyway, lol) I really don't intend to give up on this story (or any of my stories, for that matter) so you really don't have to worry about that, at least. Just be patient with me, and perhaps if anyone has any good suggestions for humorous Kagome/Inuyasha stories that I can read, those tend to help inspire me when I'm in a writing slump like I've been lately...

Anyway, I'm really glad everyone seems to be enjoying this story and that you guys are finding it so amusing (Or at the very least odd, LOL), and I hope you will all continue to read and review for me. I'm always willing to listen to constructive comments or even plot suggestions if you guys have any.

Have fun reading!

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Disclaimer: Oh, don't shoot me for this...please... 

There once was a woman from Japan  
Who had a very, very talented hand.  
She owns Inuyasha, they say  
Because she made him up one day,  
Like only someone with her imagination can.

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**  
Chapter Eight

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It was finally night, which meant it was time for the group to rest in preparation for another day of shard hunting. But for Inuyasha, it would also hopefully mean salvation from the painfully long day he'd suffered through.

While the small band of travelers went about their nightly routines, Inuyasha found himself a tree and sulked...at least, to everyone else it appeared that he was sulking. In reality, he was mentally beating himself up for his earlier actions - not that he would ever admit such a thing to anyone. It was best if everyone believed he was acting like his usual self, upset because they had to stop for the night to let the weak humans rest.

Not that his little pretense mattered, of course, because nobody was paying any attention to him.

Each member of the little band was lost in their own thoughts, seemingly on auto-pilot as they went through the motions of cooking, eating, and preparing to sleep. It was more than a little unusual, because normally there was a lot of talking and laughing amongst the close-knit group, especially between Sango and Kagome. Those two could talk about everything without actually talking about anything.

Must be a woman thing, Inuyasha supposed.

Thinking of women made Inuyasha's mind go back to two women in particular along with a certain incident earlier in the day that had involved both. What in the world had possessed Sango to lie for him like that and save him from Kagome's wrath? Admittedly, she was one of the worst liars he'd ever met if what had happened that day was any indication, but Kagome had believed it, and that was what really counted.

Still, the fact that Sango would go out of her way to help him even after Kagome had most likely told her about what had occurred on the other side of the well was...odd, to say the least.

Narrowing his eyes in the demon slayer's direction, the now observant hanyou noticed just how closely she was watching Miroku from her spot across the campfire. She couldn't possibly be worried about him groping her, so why would she be staring at him like that? Unless...

Ah, so that was it! Understanding finally dawned and Inuyasha was ready to smack himself for not realizing it sooner.

From the look on her face, Inuyasha could tell that she suspected something and didn't like her suspicions in the least. She must have figured out, at least in part, what was going on between him and Miroku. Which meant that Inuyasha might possibly have an ally against the perverted monk, should he need it.

The thought consoled the half-demon slightly.

Turning his attention to whom he now unconsciously considered to be 'the enemy', Inuyasha couldn't stop a small growl from escaping at the sight of the unusually quiet monk.

Over the course of the day since their lunch break, Miroku and Shippo had been the only ones that had acted halfway normal. They had both talked and laughed as they traveled as if nothing were out of the ordinary, while everyone else had brooded quietly.

Watching the other man acting so cheerful had only served to sour Inuyasha's mood more than ever.

Since they had stopped traveling for the night, though, the monk had grown suspiciously silent and thoughtful, giving Inuyasha the uneasy feeling that he was being plotted against. And the occasional speculative glances Miroku had been giving him off and on all evening wasn't helping to calm his increasingly rattled nerves any.

As if he realized he was being watched, Miroku suddenly turned his eyes towards the already agitated hanyou and a sharp cracking echoed throughout the camp a mere moment later.

Across the small clearing from Inuyasha's tree, Sango took her eyes off Miroku for a few moments to study Inuyasha, her attention having been drawn to him by the loud cracking noise apparently caused by Inuyasha's excessively tight grip on a nearby branch as he stared at Miroku with a disturbing amount of focus.

If she didn't get to the bottom of this little mystery soon, someone was going to end up dead and judging from Inuyasha's expression, it would probably be Miroku. And at this point, even if the hanyou did end up breaking Miroku's neck, she wouldn't blame him in the least.

Not that she wanted him dead, of course. But still, she could understand Inuyasha's feeling in the matter because the way Miroku was acting was downright creepy. Her own hands were just itching to clobber the idiot...

Sighing, Sango reached over beside her and picked up Hiraikotsu along with a cloth that she kept for use on her weapon. Not that it really needed any attention since they hadn't been in any battles lately, but she needed something to keep her hands busy and away from Miroku's skull.

Still, though she steadily worked the cloth over Hiraikotsu, her eyes strayed constantly in Miroku's direction.

She felt it would be a good idea to continue keeping a close eye on dark-haired man, waiting for an opportune time to confront him about his actions. And hopefully that chance would come very, very soon...

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at Miroku's seemingly oblivious figure.

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Kagome wanted to scream.

It was becoming more and more obvious to the frustrated girl that something was going on that involved Miroku, Sango, and Inuyasha, and she was the only one being left in the dark about it. Well, she and Shippo, but the sleeping kitsune didn't seem to care in the least.

Perhaps she should just take her cue from him and ignore them all?

Kagome watched with annoyance as Inuyasha glared first at Miroku, and then at Sango before going back to Miroku. And Sango would stare at Miroku, glance at Inuyasha, pretend to work, but inevitably end up staring at Miroku again who just serenely ignored both of them while wearing a smile he would normally only wear after successfully groping the constantly on guard Sango.

Throughout all this, no one looked Kagome's way at all.

'I might as well not even be here.' She thought dourly, a frown plastered across her normally cheerful face. 'And when they do acknowledge my existence, something weird always happens that makes me wish they hadn't...'

Like earlier that day, for example. Now there was a good reason why she shouldn't be upset about being ignored. What a weird moment that had been...

Kagome's frown deepened. What had really happened, anyway?

Everything had been perfectly normal until both Sango and Inuyasha had started choking at the same time...at the same time? It hadn't occurred to Kagome while it was happening, but such a thing really was rather strange...

And then Inuyasha had knocked the water bottle away as if he were afraid it was going to bite him, and ended up splashing water all over Sango. Yet, Sango didn't get angry as she normally would have, which was also undoubtedly odd.

After that, when she had tried to get an answer out of someone, Miroku acted as if he were about to confess something to her. Something about...he and Inuyasha? But what in the world could he have been planning to say?

Kagome shook her head in confusion, not understanding anything about the day's events, though she did have a feeling that it was all related...somehow.

But how was what she didn't know, and that fact was frustrating the poor girl to no end.

It was impossible for her to identify any kind of a connection, yet she somehow sensed that all the previous events - such as the choking and what Miroku had been about to say - must have somehow led up to Inuyasha slapping his hand over her chest (She couldn't stop a bright blush from breaking out on her face at that memory) and Sango telling her there had been a spider there and that Inuyasha had only been trying to kill it.

Normally, she would have never believed such a pathetic excuse as a spider with everyone already acting so strange, but she couldn't help but want to give them the benefit of the doubt because Sango wouldn't lie to her...would she? Especially not to protect one of the guys after they did something stupid. Or just plain weird, as the case was with Inuyasha.

Surely there must have been a spider. A very teeny, tiny one...and one that didn't leave any guts when squashed, to boot.

Kagome nearly growled out loud as she once again glanced down at the spotless front of her school uniform in hopes that she'd missed something. So much for Sango never lying to her.

'Why would Sango lie about something like that? I don't get it! Everyone around me is going nuts, and I can't even figure out why!' She removed the sleeping Shippo from her lap and jumped up before heading over to her backpack and violently digging her hand around in it, looking for her night clothes.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up and ready for bed." She glared at everyone around her one by one as she made her announcement, and they all stared back at her, baffled by her sudden attitude and giving Kagome the grim satisfaction of knowing that at least she wasn't being ignored anymore.

"Ah, Kagome-chan, are you okay?" Sango hesitantly questioned. "You seem upset..."

"I'm fine." She responded stiffly before stalking off in the direction of a rather pitiful stream they'd managed to find after Inuyasha had splashed Sango with a good part of their water supply.

Once Kagome was out of hearing range, Sango sighed and stood up, placing Hiraikotsu against a tree and gathering a few spare bathing supplies Kagome always carried for her. As much as she felt she needed to keep her eye on Miroku (his expression was far too angelic looking at the moment for her taste), she felt she needed to check on Kagome more. There was obviously something upsetting the younger girl.

Before she left, Sango gave her standard warning.

"No peeking. At all. Got it?"

She then glared at Miroku and then Inuyasha before turning away from them both in disgust. She didn't even know who to threaten anymore! Things were much too confused...

Waiting patiently with his much-too-innocent expression until Sango was out of sight, Miroku the dropped the facade and turned towards Inuyasha without missing a beat. The perfect opportunity for the plan he'd been concocting all evening was at hand, and he was determined not to waste it, even if he did have to forgo his viewing pleasure for the night. But, oh well, Sango was far too suspicious of him at the moment, anyway.

For now he would just have to concentrate on Inuyasha.

"So, what are you waiting for?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Huh?" Inuyasha blinked cluelessly.

Miroku sighed. "If you were truly sincere about proving your attraction to Kagome-sama, now would be an excellent opportunity to do so. She and Sango-sama are bathing, and-"

"You mean you want me to go PEEK?" Inuyasha questioned in horror, as if he'd never considered such a thing before. Miroku had to try very hard not to smile or laugh.

"Of course that is what I meant. What else?" The monk punctuated his question with a shrug while carefully watching the hanyou's reaction for what he was looking for. Perhaps just a bit more encouragement would be needed... "Of course, I'll understand perfectly if you weren't serious about the whole thing. Using Kagome-sama as an excuse to avoid your real feelings for someone else is only natural, and-"

"Fine, I'll do it!" Inuyasha nearly shouted, causing the sleeping kitsune and fire cat to stir slightly.

He stood up to leave, looking as if he were about to go to his execution (which, if he were caught, it would be) when Miroku decided it was time to put the next part of his plan into action.

"Wait a moment, Inuyasha. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure I believe that you'll actually go peek." He placed his hand on his chin as if contemplating something very seriously. "What if you just pretend to go, and instead head elsewhere? I think I'll need some proof."

Inuyasha stared at Miroku incredulously. "You want WHAT?"

"Some proof. Only logical under the circumstances, wouldn't you say?"

The hanyou growled. "Like hell! What kind of proof could I possibly bring back?" He paused for a moment before his face darkened. "Oi, why can't you just come, too? It's not like you haven't done it before."

The most pious look Miroku could muster came over his face. "I could not possibly do such a thing. After all, I've sworn off women for good, and as a monk, I must never go back on my word."

Inuyasha snorted, aptly voicing his opinion of that without actually saying anything.

"It pains me to see that you do not understand, my friend." Miroku sighed despondently before going quiet. He seemed to contemplate the situation seriously for a few moments before an evil gleam entered his eyes that he couldn't quite hide from the now nervous hanyou. "Actually, my going could be a very good thing. After all, I don't necessarily have to look at the ladies, now do I? Because with a certain 'someone' there I'll have other viewing material to keep my eyes upon..."

Inuyasha flinched. "Ah...dammit!" He knew the argument was lost and that he should just give in before Miroku could get any other ideas. "Fine! What kind of proof?"

The other man hid a smile. "Oh, I don't know...Kagome-sama's clothes, perhaps?"

"WHAT!"

It was Miroku's turn to flinch at Inuyasha's loud yell, and he could only hope that Sango and Kagome hadn't been able to hear it from the river. They were a fair distance away to allow for privacy, but not so far that it compromised anyone's safety. Which, of course, meant that they were within screaming distance...

"Please calm down, Inuyasha. You wouldn't want to risk anyone over-hearing your plan."

The hanyou balked at the admonishment. "MY plan? Hell no, this is all YOUR idea!"

"Call it what you will," Miroku hummed, unconcerned "but YOU are still the one that they will get angry with if you get caught. So tread with caution, Inuyasha. I'd hate to see them mar that lovely ski-"

Obviously that was more than enough 'encouragement' from the monk for Inuyasha's taste, and Miroku found himself talking to empty air.

"Excellent!" Miroku smiled widely. "Now to wait for his return..."

&

* * *

&

"Now what the hell should I do?" Inuyasha scowled in the direction of the river where he could hear splashing and talking. He was sitting in a tree just far enough away that he couldn't see anything, yet he could hear everything very clearly. It was the best compromise his embarrassment of the situation and his fear of Miroku would allow. "I'm really gonna kill that pervert one of these days. Just see if I don't..."

After throwing that little threat out into the empty air, Inuyasha sat there for several minutes, just listening to the activity near the river and attempting to bolster his courage. It was strange, he realized, how he could just jump into a battle to the death without fear, yet the mere thought of Kagome and Sango catching him could turn him into the world's worst coward.

"Keh. Me, scared? Yeah, right...this is nothing!"

Several more minutes passed, and still Inuyasha remained where he was despite his earlier statement. It was plain to see that he was scared, and that he didn't want to go through with Miroku's little plan. But really, what choice did he have? If there was one thing he'd learned growing up, it was that you had to do what you had to do to survive, no matter what...

"Maybe I can do it without looking..." he muttered to himself.

Yeah, that sounded like it could work. Keep his eyes closed and just depend on his other senses to guide him. With his natural grace and speed, it shouldn't be too difficult, right? He could just grab her clothes, show them to Miroku, put them back and Kagome would never know the difference.

Feeling a bit braver now that he'd decided what he believed to be a good course of action, Inuyasha silently jumped from his perch and headed towards the river. He was careful to avoid anything that might make enough noise to alert Sango to his presence, and sooner than he was really prepared for, he found himself just out of sight of the river behind a wide tree, which was as close as he could get to their clothing (that he had managed to locate by scent) without being seen.

Suddenly he had another onset of nerves.

'I can't do it!' Inuyasha panicked, his eyes darting from side to side as if he were afraid a naked Sango or Kagome might jump out in front of him at any moment. Feeling like a cornered animal, he tucked himself as much as he could behind the tree and prayed to whatever God would listen for a miracle, such as Kagome's clothes magically appearing in his hands.

No such luck.

"Kagome-chan, could you bring me some water to rinse my face with?" Sango's voice startled Inuyasha out of his useless prayers. "I have sham-poo in my eyes and I can't see well enough to make it to the water without falling on my face. And this stuff really burns...we should really start using it to blind demons with when we fight."

The other girl giggled at her friend's slightly awkward pronunciation of the still unfamiliar word, as well as the mental image of her friend being so ungraceful. She was obviously in a much better mood than when she'd stomped off earlier. "Sure, but hold on just a moment. I need to hurry and rinse my own hair before I freeze to death in this water! But I guess that would teach me not to take a bath so late..."

The next thing Inuyasha heard was Kagome taking a deep breath followed by the sound of Kagome going underwater while Sango laughed. From what he could tell, the older girl was sitting somewhere on shore while washing her hair (the water was so cool that they could only stand being in it long enough to rinse off), while Kagome was out in the middle of the stream. And from the smell of it, both were a fair distance from their clothing...

Here was a perfect chance to grab what he needed to and get the heck out of there! His sense of urgency over-powering his fears, Inuyasha darted out from behind the tree without further thought, his eyes firmly closed...

And he got a face-full of cloth almost immediately.

Freezing in his steps and thinking one of the girls must have thrown something at him, Inuyasha waited for the screams to begin.

Surprisingly, not a sound was made.

Cautiously cracking one golden eye open, Inuyasha was met with the not unwelcome sight of Kagome's green skirt, white blouse, and underwear hanging on a tree branch right in his face, along with her blue pajamas that she'd taken with her to change into.

Wait a second...his eyes widened.

They'd been hanging so close to him that he could have just reached around the tree and grabbed them!

Resisting the temptation to curse out loud, Inuyasha quickly snatched all the clothing off the branch (he wasn't going to leave anything and risk Miroku making him go back for something) and darted back into the forest just as Kagome rose out of the water with a loud gasp.

&

* * *

&

"Ah, I feel so much better!" Kagome took another deep breath for good measure after being under the water for so long, and then shivered as she made her way towards the bank. "Are you okay, Sango-chan?"

Her friend had paused in the middle of massaging shampoo into her hair, and a frown was marring her face. "Kagome-chan, did you hear something just a moment ago?" Before the other girl could answer, she shook her head. "Oh, no, of course you wouldn't have heard it. It happened about the same time you came out of the water."

Feeling a bit concerned, Kagome quickly dipped her cupped hands in the water and ran over to Sango, splashing her friend in the face with it. "What do you think you might have heard?"

Sango spluttered for a moment from the face full of water before answering. "I'm not sure...it sounded like clothing rustling, perhaps." Sango rubbed her eyes carefully in an attempt to clear them of the remaining water and suds.

"Clothing?" Kagome blinked in surprise before looking around, her eyes automatically looking for the only clothing in the area...theirs. "Strange. It isn't like you to be hearing things, but I don't know what it could have been. I doubt Miroku was in the bushes peeking or anyth-" Her voice cut off when her eyes fell on the tree behind her.

"Kagome-chan?" Sango finally managed to get her eyes clear enough to look at her friend in concern because she had stopped what she was saying so suddenly. "Is something wrong?" She found the younger girl was staring open-mouthed in the direction of the tree they had both hung their clothing on.

"My-my clothes are GONE!"

* * *

**A/N:** You don't know how happy I am to be working on this story again! I know I said I'd try to finish 'Trouble' first, but I just couldn't stay away from this story once I finally found myself in the mood to write. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed sneaking moments here and there to write it at work, lol! Bad me, I know... 


	9. Step 9: It Isn't Good Enough

I am so very sorry that it has taken me such a long time to get this chapter out. I honestly don't mean to let so much time pass, but you have to keep in mind that I don't have nearly as much free time as I used to. And having a full time job where I spend most of my day on the computer makes me not want to spend any time on the computer at home if I can help it. So basically, what little writing I get done is normally at work when I have some spare time, and I'm currently dividing my attention between four different stories. So please be patient with me because I will update whenever I can.

In response to a question:

A Miroku/Sango relationship really isn't going to come into play in this story as far as my plans go right now. I normally give them time in my other stories, but in this one I'm really just concentrating on Inuyasha and Kagome. There might be a few hints of something between the other two, though, but not more than that.

Now, on to the Inuyasha torture! Er, I mean, on to the story...heh...

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Disclaimer: Huh? What? I'm supposed to be writing something? Oh yes, I don't own any of the characters in this story...or do I? Darn it, I know I let a lot of time pass since I started this story, but I'm not old enough to be THIS forgetful! Or am I? How old am I again...

* * *

**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**  
Chapter Nine

_By: ArtemisMoon_

* * *

Sango could only stare open-mouthed at the tree Kagome was so frantically pointing to.

"My clothes! Who in the world would want to steal my clothes!"

Knowing it wasn't a question really meant to be answered, Sango stayed quiet and allowed the other girl to run past the tree and dig around in the bushes about ten feet behind it, as if she hoped they might have made their way into them - somehow. Though it wasn't very likely, since not even the slight breeze that was in the air that evening could have managed to carry them such a distance.

'Inuyasha really wouldn't have gone THAT far, would he?' The exterminator bit her bottom lip as she considered the situation. She had no doubt in her mind that the hanyou must have been involved in the clothing caper in some way, because why else would only Kagome's clothes have been stolen and not hers? They were on another branch on the other side of the same tree, but from what she could see at a glance, nothing was missing or even out of place.

Sango sighed and rose to her feet before heading to rinse out her hair in the cold stream. 'And who else might actually be capable of getting that close to us without me noticing? Certainly not Miroku...'

"What am I going to do, Sango-chan!" Kagome was becoming more frantic by the second as she hunted for her mysteriously absent clothes. Who could blame her, though? It was like a situation out of one of those dreams people complain about, where you find yourself at school naked. "My uniform and pajamas were all the clothes I had with me!"

Not bothering to respond, Sango dove under the water and removed all the shampoo from her hair as quickly as she could before surfacing with a loud splash. Not wasting a moment, she then moved towards shore to retrieve her own clothes.

"Don't worry about it, Kagome-chan. I'll find out what happened and bring them back to you." She stopped talking long enough to put on the clothes she normally wore when she wasn't fighting. She hated putting clothes on before she could dry off. Now she really wanted to kill whoever was responsible for the situation...

"Who do you think might have taken them?" Kagome was busy looking up into the tree, as if she believed her clothes might have suddenly decided to climb up there on their own.

Sango cringed, knowing she'd have to lie. "I'm sure it must have been Shippo playing a joke or something. You know the way kitsunes are."

"Shippo...?" Kagome eyed her doubtfully. "Do you really think he could have carried all those clothes away on his own? He's so little!"

The only response she got was a nervous laugh as Sango finished fastening her top layer of clothing on. "I'll be right back, so stay here, okay?" Not waiting for a response to her rather stupid order (as if Kagome planned on going anywhere in her state of undress), Sango jogged off into the safety of the forest before the other girl could ask any more questions.

She was such a terrible liar!

* * *

"Oh my, you actually managed to get them. I'm impressed, Inuyasha!" 

Looking around nervously, Inuyasha stood in the middle of the camp clearing while clutching Kagome's clothes in his hands like they were lifelines. "Yeah, whatever bouzu. You've seen the proof, so can I take them back already?"

Humming lightly as if he were considering, Miroku stood up and moved to get a better look at the clothes in the other man's hands. "Yes, yes, it does appear that you got everything down to her - what did Kagome-sama call those that day she caught me with them? Oh yes, right down to her underwear." As if the temptation was too much for him, he reached out to pick up the mentioned garment.

"Dammit, don't you dare-!" Growling fiercely, Inuyasha held the pile close to his chest and made it very clear that the other man had better not touch any of it unless he wanted his hand taken off. "I'm not letting a pervert like you near anything of Kag- wait! What do you mean, the day SHE caught you with her underwear? When the hell was this?" He remembered catching Miroku digging is her bag once, but he'd also done it another time? Oh, he was about to be SO dead...

The dark-haired man laughed nervously, realizing he'd said too much. "As I said earlier, Inuyasha, I'm very impressed that you managed to steal Kagome-sama's clothing, but I can't say that I'm completely convinced by this after all."

"WHAT!" Inuyasha's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. He couldn't be hearing this! After everything he went though, Miroku still didn't believe him?

"I've been thinking about it while you were gone, and really, even a monkey could peek at a girl and steal her clothes without meaning anything by it. So I'm going to have to see some better evidence than this if you want me to accept that you like woman as a fact." Before Inuyasha could protest or attack him, Miroku quickly charged ahead. "I'm not really sure yet what I feel would be appropriate, but once I think of something I will be sure to inform you. But in the meantime, if you get the urge show Kagome-sama how 'interested' you are in her, feel free to do so in whatever fashion you choose. Something involving physical contact preferred, of course."

Miroku could almost see the steam rising from Inuyasha's red face. It made him rather worried for his own safety, but at the same time he couldn't help but want to laugh. "My, Inuyasha are you angry or are you embarrassed? I've never seen a face quite that red before."

"DAMMIT MIROKU, I OUGHTTA-" Inuyasha actually raised his clawed hand in what Miroku recognized as the beginning of one of his friend's signature moves. Best to curb this situation quickly before someone, namely him, got hurt...

"Now that we are finished here, all you have to do is put the clothing back and this particular task will be complete!"

Inuyasha froze. "Dammit, you mean I have to go BACK?" He'd momentarily forgotten that he would actually have to return the clothes, and the thought effectively replaced his anger with fear. Repeating his earlier adventure was not an attractive idea in the least, and really, the idea of getting run through by Sesshoumaru was more appealing at the moment. But he couldn't let Miroku know that, because the perverted monk might take it the wrong way.

Squaring his shoulders, Inuyasha decided to just suck it up and take the stupid clothes back. How hard could it be to just do what he'd done earlier? He wouldn't have to look, and hopefully neither girl would ever be the wiser.

Miroku watched the variety of telling emotions run across the other man's face, and had to forcefully hold back an amused smile. "Now, don't you think you should hurry? Kagome-sama is going to be very angry if she catches you, and I'm sure Sango-sama will be along any moment looking for them."

The attempt to push Inuyasha into action was successful. His eyes went wide at the thought that they might have already discovered that the clothes were missing, and he let out another curse before taking off back in the direction he'd come from in fear of Kagome's wrath.

Miroku remained standing where he was, an amused and very satisfied smile on his face. It was really just too easy! But now he could only count on the fact that Inuyasha would take a while putting the clothes back, because he had a little business he needed to take care of...

"So you WERE the one that put Inuyasha up to it!"

Not appearing to be surprised in the least, Miroku turned to greet the woman emerging from the trees down wind of where Inuyasha had been only moments earlier. He was still smiling, and it was apparent that he'd been expecting her to show up and wasn't bothered by the fact that she'd overheard his little meeting with Inuyasha. What in the world could he be plotting...?

Sango's eyes narrowed.

"Yes, my dear Sango, I knew you were here. I've actually been meaning to talk to you, and this would be the perfect chance to have a little chat, don't you think?" He gestured to the ground next to him, indicating that she should have a seat.

Once they were settled (Sango having chosen a spot further from Miroku than the one he'd suggested), the monk smiled at her. "I'm not surprised that I failed to hide something such as this from you, Sango-sama. You really are quite observant!" He said it as if he were proud of her. "So now I suppose that I must explain to you the good deed I'm doing all for the sake Kagome-sama and Inuyasha."

"Good deed?" Sango scoffed. "It looked more like torture to me! What have you been doing to poor Inuyasha? He's acting so crazy lately that I don't know what to think anymore, and now I'm more sure than ever after witnessing your little meeting with him that you're the one responsible for his behavior!" She moved as if to get up, an angry expression on her face and one hand reaching for hiraikotsu. "I shouldn't even give you a chance to explain!"

Miroku shook his head as if he were saddened by her lack of understanding. "Sango-sama, you wound me with your mistrust. Do you really believe me capable of ever doing anything to any of my companions with the intention of being cruel?"

She wasn't fooled by his innocent act in the least, and continued loom over him with hiraikostu in a threatening manner.

"I am but a simple servant of Budda, and my mission is to help others in any way that I can. My intentions towards Kagome and Inuyasha are pure and unselfish, I assure you!" He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I am sure you will appreciate the goal I am trying to achieve if you will just sit down and allow me to explain."

Sango grip on her weapon went slack as she hesitated. Should she give him a chance to explain? Allowing him a chance to talk her out of her anger could be a bad idea, she knew, but at the same time she really wanted to know what was going on. Oh, what to do, what to do?

In the end, curiosity won out.

"Start explaining." Sango moved back to where she had previously been sitting, while still holding on to hiraikostu. Best to be prepared in case she had to beat him into the ground because of something he said.

"When I made my sincere vow to stay away from women, at the time I did not understand the effects that it might have." He sighed regretfully. "Had I only known how upsetting the situation would be for Inuyasha, I would not have done it. But now that I made such a vow, I must follow through as a faithful man of God should."

Sango rolled her eyes but stayed silent.

"Since the deed had already been done, I chose to look for the good that could be had of such an awkward situation. And when I did, I realized that this could be the perfect solution to Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, or lack thereof."

The angelic smile on his face did nothing to make Sango believe in his good intentions. Quite the opposite, in fact. She tightened her grip on Hiraikotsu...

Miroku continued on, oblivious to her growing annoyance. "Since I realized Inuyasha's fear that I might actually be interested in him since I've given up women, I have subtly (Sango snorted in disbelief) been 'encouraging' him to show more interested in Kagome-sama by playing off his fears where I am concerned. I must say, the whole idea is working so well that I wish I had thought of it months ago. Inuyasha is so shy about his feelings for Kagome-sama that the only way they will ever be able to get things out in the open is with a small push. Don't you agree, Sango-sama?"

The demon slayer didn't know whether to laugh or clobber him. "Small? You call what you are doing to poor Kagome-chan and Inuyasha SMALL?" Her incredulous voice echoed loudly through the clearing and Miroku nervously gestured for her to be quieter.

"Okay, perhaps it isn't small," He agreed just to placate her. "But you have to admit that it is effective."

Sango sighed and let go of her weapon long enough to rub her temples. She could feel a massive headache coming on. "Houshi-sama, I really wish that you would stop making things so difficult for everyone. Giving Inuyasha a complex about other men and Kagome a complex about Inuyasha isn't going to solve their relationship problems. If anything, it is making things worse!"

Miroku smiled serenely, not at all put off by her negative attitude. "I admit that things may be bad right now, but sometimes things have to become worse before they can become better. Once Inuyasha becomes more comfortable with expressing his feelings for Kagome-sama, then I can explain everything to both of them and-"

"Be killed!" Sango interrupted him. "Really, do you actually think Inuyasha is going to just let it go after you've caused him so many problems? He's going to tear you to pieces!"

"I am more than capable of defending myself against him."

Sango gave him a flat look. "How about against Inuyasha AND Kagome?"

Now this was something the monk had yet to consider, and for the first time he actually felt very worried. It was one thing to get in a scuffle with Inuyasha, but Kagome? He couldn't possibly hurt her, self defense or not. And even if he could, Inuyasha and Sango would seriously be out to kill him then.

"Perhaps I do need to rethink my plan a bit." He admitted, though none of the worry he was feeling showed on his face. "But I have really come much too far to back down now. They are going to try to kill me anyway if they find out, so I might as well see it through to the end." His confidence was suddenly back full force. Why worry about it, after all? Nothing he could do now would erase anything he'd already done, so he might as well enjoy the rest of his pathetically short life.

"Please, I beseech you, Sango-sama," Miroku was suddenly kneeling in front of Sango and holding one of her hands. The poor girl hadn't seen it coming and nearly fell over backward. "Do not tell Inuyasha or Kagome-sama anything yet. I just need a little more time, and I promise you the results will be worth it."

"But-" She was fully intending to deny him his request, until he stopped her with his next words.

"What if I said that this would finally end poor Kagome-sama's suffering where her uncertainty about Inuyasha's feelings is concerned? Don't you want your dear friend to be happy?"

For the first time Sango looked unsure. "Well, of course I do..."

"And you want them to come to an understanding just as much as I do, I'm sure. Am I correct?"

"Yes..."

"Then please, all I ask is for you to give me until the next full moon." He pleaded with her passionately. "And then if Inuyasha and Kagome-sama haven't come to an understanding by then, I promise not to interfere any further."

Sango sat quietly and contemplated the situation for several moments, while Miroku held his breath.

"Fine. But make it the next new moon."

Miroku's eyes widened in surprise. "But the new moon is only eight days away!" He protested.

Sango nodded firmly, obviously not planning to give an inch on her decision. "It's either the new moon or I'm telling them right now, because I don't think any of us will survive if I allow this to continue until the full moon."

Miroku thought quickly about his options. He would have a lot less time that he'd originally counted on, but perhaps the added urgency would make things more interesting as well as challenging. And while everyone else focused on the chaos he was sure to create, Miroku could enjoy the show as well as a few additional perks. He nearly drooled at the thought of all the peeking of his own he could do while the attention would be off him and on Inuyasha.

"I accept those terms, Sang-"

Miroku broke off abruptly as a very angry, high-pitched scream echoed through the forest.

"IIIIIINUUUUUUUUYAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

Done! Wow, I feel so much better now that I've actually completed something! I swear, I felt like I was writing all the time, yet I never managed to actually finish a chapter of anything I was working on. I'm still not quite sure how I managed that, but oh well...Anyway, please drop me a review and let me know if you are still reading and enjoying the story! Despite how it may seem, they really do encourage me to keep working. Thanks for reading! 


	10. Step 10: He is SO dead!

Thank you everyone for your encouraging reviews! I wouldn't have been surprised to get more rude reviews than I did, but surprisingly few people chose to comment on how much time passed between posts (there were a few though, that I would have gladly smacked upside the head, had I been able to). I know how irritating it can be when people don't update for very long periods, so I'm very happy that almost everyone decided to be kind. And attitudes like that always make me want to update faster. I really do appreciate your patience.

I do have to say, though, to the ones that made some rude comments along the lines of 'how hard can it be to get one stupid chapter posted' (as well as a few other things that I am just going to ignore) that it can be a lot harder than you think. Writing isn't my life, and I don't get paid to do it. I write because I enjoy it, and because I enjoy entertaining others as well. So when life gets very stressful (and believe me, it has been really bad lately...a lot of horrible things have been going on at work) it is hard to find anything funny. So writing anything amusing is very hard for me at times like that. But when I do find my inspiration again, I try my very best to write – not just for myself, but for the people that have encouraged me without being rude and obnoxious.

Anyway, now that I am done with that, it seems a lot of you are still enjoying poor Inuyasha's suffering. Sadistic, aren't you? (As if I'm one to talk...) I'm sure you'll find this chapter especially entertaining, then!

On with the story!

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Disclaimer: You know, I've never really thought about it this way before, but it would be rather silly for someone to sue someone else for writing fan fiction about their characters. Because really, if they love the characters that much, then surely they have bought a lot of the official merchandise that supports the company. And if they were sued, they wouldn't have the money to buy anything else, and then the company loses business. And I really think WAY too hard about pointless stuff sometimes...

* * *

**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Ten

* * *

Kagome wrapped her arms around herself in a protective manner as her eyes darted from side to side nervously. She hated feeling so exposed and unprotected in the middle of a forest. What if someone came along and accidentally saw her like this? She knew the others in her group would hear her if she screamed, but that thought wasn't as comforting as it should have been.

'I'm not sure which would be worse,' Kagome thought to herself as she stood next to the stream, waiting for Sango to come back. 'Getting seen by a stranger, or by Inuyasha and Miroku?' She knew both men had seen her naked more than once, but the very idea still embarrassed her to no end. Really, it was a wonder that she had any modesty left after all the times both men had somehow managed to catch her in her birthday suit.

Sighing, she crouched down next to the water's edge and trailed the fingertips of her right hand in the water while still managing to keep her chest covered with both arms. It was an awkward position, but she didn't care. It wasn't as if anyone was around to see her.

"Sango-chan, please hurry up!" She whined out loud. "What could be taking so long? Surely Shippo-chan isn't that hard to catch!"

Shippo...

Was he REALLY the one that had stolen her clothes? It seemed like a very strange thing for him to do, but who else would have done such a thing? Certainly not Kirara. And as many times as Miroku had tried to spy on them, he'd never once taken any of their clothes because he had been far too distracted by other things. So what other possibility was there?

The thought of a stranger managing to get close enough to their camp without anyone else noticing made Kagome shiver. Surely Inuyasha would have noticed if something like that had happened, wouldn't he?

Inuyasha...

The very idea made Kagome laugh out loud. "He may be acting strange lately, but I can't even begin to imagine him pulling a stunt like that. It must have been Shippo-chan...but still, it's so odd...Shippo-chan was asleep when we left the camp, and he normally sleeps like the dead. I would be surprised if an earthquake managed to make him stir!" She shook her head in amusement before allowing a frown to return to her face. "But if he had woken up, wouldn't he have just joined us instead of sneaking around and stealing things? That seems more like something he would do."

Once again, Kagome started to doubt the idea of Shippo being the culprit.

"Oh, this is all so confusing!" Out of frustration, Kagome slapped her hand on the surface of the stream and managed to splash herself with the cool water. "Acckk, that's cold!" Removing her arms from her chest, she started shaking the water off. Running around naked was bad enough, but naked and wet twice in one evening definitely wasn't a good idea. She really didn't need to get sick if she could help it.

Standing up and moving away from the small stream, Kagome figured that she might as well do something productive while she was waiting, and so she walked over to where her bathing supplies were and dug around until she found her hair brush. Sighing happily, she proceeded to pull the brush through her thick, damp hair.

Several minutes passed as she concentrated on brushing out all of her hair until is was hanging smoothly down her back. The repetitive action of the activity was familiar and comforting, and was helping her to relax and forget about her predicament, at least for a little while. Pretty soon she started to hum as she used both hands to remove a few of the more difficult tangles, meaning that any attempt at modesty was completely forgotten.

Kagome had very nearly reached a state of complete relaxation and had even closed her eyes when she suddenly thought she heard a sound. Was Sango finally coming back?

Snapping her eyes open, Kagome paused in the middle of a stroke looked around for any sign of her friend. "Sango-chan?"

Hmm, that was strange. No one answered her call, and she didn't see anything. So what was it that she'd heard?

Glancing around in confusion, Kagome was about to go back to her previous activity when something caught her attention at the very edge of her vision. Was there something pink on the ground under the tree where she'd originally hung her clothes? Or was she just seeing things?

Excited and nervous at the same time, she put her brush down and recovered her chest with her arms before jogging over to the tree to see what it was. Maybe her pajamas? Perhaps Sango had made Shippo bring them back to her!

Eagerly, Kagome snatched up the pink item on the ground, and beneath it found something green. But that was all.

"Well, this is my pajama shirt...and this it my school skirt. But where is everything else?" Baffled, Kagome peered up into the tree above her to see if the rest might be hanging there. But no, there was nothing else that she could see there or on the ground. "How irritating! Where are the rest of my clothes!"

Grinding her teeth, Kagome figured she would just have to wear what she had and then go hunt Shippo down herself. At least he'd had the decency to return enough to cover both her top half and lower half, though she knew she would look very ridiculous. But oh well, clothes were clothes, right? Anything would be better than running around naked at this point!

Or so she thought, until she got a better look at the clothes in her hands.

"W-what in the world? What happened to my clothes!" At first she could only stare in complete bafflement at what she was holding, but soon enough comprehension started to dawn. There was no way Shippo could have done such a thing...but there was one demon (actually half-demon, but Kagome wasn't feeling very technical at the moment) in the group that could. And he was about to die...

"IIIIIINUUUUUUUUYAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

&

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&

Deeper in the forest and a good distance away from the stream, heavy, frantic breathing was the only thing that could be heard as a lone figure huddled on the branch of a very tall tree.

'How could I have been so STUPID? STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!' The figure berated himself in his head as he cowered in fear of the source of the scream that still had his eardrums ringing, despite the distance. 'How could I have let myself get distracted like that? HOW?'

The red-faced hanyou wanted to dig a hole for himself in the ground and never come out, because he knew that as soon as Kagome found him, he was going to die. Actually, once Kagome found him, she would probably dig a hole for him first by using the rosary. There would be no escaping her wrath this time. Why in the world had he ever listened to Miroku?

The task really hadn't seemed that bad at first. At least, it didn't seem nearly as difficult to him as grabbing the items had been. He'd had every intention of just returning the clothes the way that he'd stolen them without ever opening his eyes, and then making tracks before anyone saw him or vice versa. And he'd almost managed to do just that, too. He had just made it into the tree without being noticed...

But then Kagome had laughed out loud and nearly given him a heart attack.

As an automatic reaction to the unexpected sound that had broken his intense concentration, his eyes had snapped open, and they immediately focused on the source of the sound – a naked Kagome. A VERY naked Kagome. After that moment in time, everything in his memory was just a blur with only specific moments and details standing out in his mind.

He recalled Kagome talking to herself, but he couldn't remember anything that she had said. And he could certainly remember feeling every tiny bead of sweat that rolled down his paralyzed body as he stared at her as she moved around the edge of the river, her skin glistening in the moonlight. And then when she had moved her arm exposed EVERYTHING to his intensely focused vision...well, he could clearly recall his blood pounding through his veins as every single one of the muscles in his body tightened all at once...and then the sound of ripping fabric...

Inuyasha was thrown out of his more pleasant memories as suddenly as if someone had set off a bomb right in front of him. His ears flattened, and muscles tensed to the point of being downright painful. Recalling that one horrible moment in time was all it took for him to suddenly be feeling as if he were three years old again and afraid that his mother was going to find him and punish him for trampling her favorite flowers.

During all of this, it went completely unnoticed by Inuyasha that he was still holding what was left of Kagome's clothes. Some he had actually dropped while standing in the tree from shock after realizing what had happened, but the rest had remained firmly in his grasp as he frantically attempted to escape as quickly as he could. They were tattered and very nearly shredded beyond recognition by now from his sharp claws and death grip, but they would still make the perfect testament of his guilt should Kagome actually catch him with them. Sadly, though, Inuyasha didn't have enough presence of mind to think about that as he continued to cling to them as if they were his only lifeline.

At the rate things were going, Inuyasha wouldn't live to see the next sunrise.

&

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&

There was a stunned, tense silence in the camp as Sango and Miroku waited to see what would happen next. The echo of Kagome's enraged cry had faded into nothing several minutes before, but they still didn't dare to venture in the direction of the river. They knew that the results of getting caught wouldn't be good at all for Inuyasha, but at the same time, they couldn't bring themselves to go help him.

After all, Kagome could be REALLY scary when she was angry...

Exchanging a look of sheepishness, Sango and Miroku suddenly realized how silly they must look. A powerful monk with years of spiritual as well as combat training and a demon slayer that had taken out youkai thirty times her size were both scared a young human girl. How absurd was that? Well, perhaps not as absurd as an insanely strong hanyou being scared of her, but still...

"We should go see what happened." Sango finally ventured to speak first. "Inuyasha might need us to rescue him..."

Miroku smiled and tried to look as careless as possible, though he wasn't succeeding nearly as well as usual. "Oh, no need worry about him! He can take care of himself just fine without our help I'm sure, Sango-sama."

She eyed him doubtfully, not sure if she should take the safest route and just go along with him, or actually argue the point and go help their friend. But just as Sango opened her mouth to respond, the sound of someone crashing through the woods stopped any attempts at conversation dead in its tracks.

"WHERE IS HE!" came a very angry shout just before Kagome came into view. She was seething and her glare was fit to kill, causing even Sango to step back from her in fear. Through all of this, Shippo didn't even stir.

"H-he? What do you mean, Kagome-chan?" Sango tried to smile, but quickly gave up when it became obvious that nothing was going to deter the angry girl from her goal.

"I mean Inuyasha! Where did that idiot go!" Kagome, who had originally had her right fist wrapped tightly around the cloth on the front of her shirt, let it go to gesture wildly. "I swear, when I get my hands on him I'm going to take his sword and shove it up his-"

"KAGOME-CHAN!" Sango broke into Kagome's rant before covering her mouth in a gesture of what the other girl assumed to be horror.

"I'm sorry, Sango-chan." She was suddenly looking very contrite and a lot more like her usual self. Even her murderous aura had dimmed slightly. "I know I normally don't say things like that, and certainly not in front of Shippo-chan, but I just couldn't help myself. Because this time Inuyasha has REALLY gone too far!"

All the while that Kagome was speaking, Sango was shaking her head back and forth almost violently. "N-no, no, it's not that!"

Miroku cleared his throat and spoke up for the first time since Kagome had entered the clearing. "Kagome-sama, I do not believe that Sango-sama is upset about the violent nature of what you were saying. She is actually upset about..." For once, Miroku seemed to have a hard time coming up with an appropriate way to word what he was trying to say, and finally settled on gesturing towards Kagome's chest with an indiscernible expression on his face.

Baffled, Kagome looked down and nearly had a heart attack at the sight that met her eyes. "Oh my GOD! Why didn't you tell me sooner!" Frantically, she pulled the tear in the front of her pajama top closed with her right hand again while her left went up to cover her beet red face. And just when she'd thought the day couldn't POSSIBLY get any worse, too...

"I'M GOING TO KILLLLL HIM!" She shouted, making both her companions cringe and take a step back. "And then I'm going to bring him back to life and kill him all over again! And again!"

Realizing that Kagome was probably angry enough to actually follow through with her threats, Miroku finally decided that some damage control would be needed if his special little 'project' would have any hope of survival. And so the first order of business would be to see exactly how deep Inuyasha had dug his grave.

"Kagome-sama, did you actually see Inuyasha-sama with your-" He stopped and stared at Kagome's retreating back as she had already begun another reckless rampage through the forest.

"This is bad. Really bad." Sango looked as if she were tempted to run the opposite way of the trouble for once in her life. But really, Miroku couldn't say that he blamed her. The whole mess was making everyone act strange and do things that they normally wouldn't do. Inuyasha trying to be a pervert, Sango actually agreeing to keep one of Miroku's little plots a secret, and him pretending to have no interest in women. But really, that was half the fun!

Best not to say anything like that to Sango, though.

"Fear not. I am sure that Inuyasha is at least intelligent enough to have gone far, far away for a while. And after Kagome-sama has worn herself out from fruitlessly searching for him, then perhaps she will stay in one place long enough for us to talk to her and see if we can remedy the situation." He nodded, satisfied and sure of himself.

And for once, Sango wanted desperately to believe that he was right...

"INUUUUUYASHAAAAAA! OSUWARIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The ground then shook with the force of a huge impact somewhere in the distance, and after that the clearing was completely silent for a moment as the pair registered what must have happened.

"It really was too much to hope that he would be 'at least intelligent enough,' wasn't it?" Miroku sighed despondently.

Sango looked just as miserable as he felt. "It was. It really, really was. Kirara, stay with Shippo-chan."

With that the demon slayer and monk set off as quickly as they could in the general direction of the sound, hoping to at least prevent some of the bloodshed they knew would occur that evening. And as they left, Shippo let out a loud snore, completely oblivious to it all.

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Finished! So, did all of you sadistic people enjoy this chapter? LOL I'm sure you are wondering how he's going to get out of this! Or if he even will!

Just as a reminder, if you are wondering about the progress I'm making on my chapters (of this story or any of the other stories I'm currently working on), be sure and check out my profile. Every now and then I'll update it if I've been working on anything, so at least it will give everyone some sort of indication of how soon they might expect a new chapter. Thanks for reading!


	11. Step 11: You mean he didn't do it?

**A/N**: Happy birthday to my sister! How old is she, you ask? Well, she's...OLD!

Heh...such are the joys of being the baby of the family. No matter how old you get, they can never, ever say that about you!

Anyway, now that 'Trouble' is finished, I am going to work some more on this story again! So yes, it is time for the craziness and Inuyasha torture to continue! I have far too much fun with this story, and being able to work on it again without feeling guilty for neglecting my other story will be nice. Though I might break and start posting a new story soon, lol...but don't worry, this one will always get its fair share of attention!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters that I am using in this story. I also don't own the setting. So what DO I own? Just these lovely words that I type, straight from my heart...man, I have a sadistic heart...

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Eleven

* * *

'Okay, where is that idiot!'

A still fully enraged Kagome darted her head from side to side in an attempt to detect the location of her prey. It had been several minutes since she'd said 'the word,' but judging from the resounding impact he'd made, the accused clothing thief would most likely still be laying in the same spot that he'd fallen. No one, whether they be human, hanyou, or youkai, would be able to recover from a fall like that in just a short amount of time.

Luckily for him, she had thus far resisted the urge to say it again, though she was sorely tempted.

"Ugggh...Dammit..." A pained moan followed by a curse drifted from within the forest, unknowingly giving away his position and spurring Kagome to head in the direction it was coming from. He was close, and she wasn't about to give him enough time to recover and escape if she could help it.

A few moments later a tree came into view that was sporting a large, raw area quite a ways up its trunk. It was obvious that a sizable branch must have been forcefully ripped off very recently, and she was pretty sure about how it had happened. With that knowledge came an unexpected twinge of guilt, but she forcefully pushed it away and concentrated on her anger.

He was the idiot that had stolen her clothes! He didn't deserve her pity!

Looking down to the base of the tree when it came fully into view, her thoughts were proven correct as she noticed a pile of what looked to be the remains of the broken tree branch...and Inuyasha, laying flat on his face and groaning into the dirt.

Again, guilt struck, but this time so strongly that it made her pause in her effort to reach him. 'Wow, that must have really hurt him.' She thought, wincing in sympathy as she stared at his prone figure. For a moment she felt the urge to apologize, but forced herself to ignore it and continue on her course of action.

"Inuuyashaaa..." Her voice warned him of her approach, and he cringed as he noticed that it was quite a bit deeper than normal. That was always a sign that she was dangerously angry, and he wished with all his might that he could move well enough to run away.

But sadly for him, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Her footsteps were right beside his head by this point, and a moment later she had knelt down next to him.

"Inuyasha, WHERE are the rest of my clothes?"

He voice had gone from deep and angry to almost TOO sweet. If possible, that voice scared him more than the first one had!

His mind frantically raced around, attempting to come up with anything that might save him from his predicament. Hadn't she noticed her clothes yet? He'd had them in his hands right before he'd fallen out of the tree, so surely she could find them without having to ask-

Wait! Maybe she couldn't see them!

Wanting to test his theory, he shifted his sore body just enough to realize that the very uncomfortable lump underneath his stomach was, indeed, the rest of Kagome's clothing. He had been holding them so tightly that he hadn't lost his grip on them during the fall. Could this possibly work to his advantage? He decided to try his luck and find out.

Turning his face towards the kneeling girl next to him, he gave her one of his best glares. "Keh! I don't know what you're talking about, you stupid girl!"

Her eyes widened at his words, before narrowing into menacing slits. "Don't lie to me, Inuyasha." She reached down and grabbed his forelocks before bending until they were nearly nose to nose. His glare noticeably wavered at the intimidating gesture. "I am only going to ask you this one more time. WHERE...ARE...MY...CLOTHES?"

Realizing that it might be a good idea to give up before she tried to detach his hair from his head, he reluctantly shuffled to the side far enough that she could see the spot where he'd been laying.

Kagome gasped and released him.

"My...my...CLOTHES! They're ruined!" She picked up the sad-looking scraps of cloth and held them at eye level. "What am I going to do? Mama's going to KILL me!" She wailed.

Inuyasha, meanwhile, wasn't paying a bit of attention to the clothes she was holding or her words. He was completely focused on something else entirely now that she wasn't forcing him to look her in the face.

And he'd thought his view at the river had been good!

A few moments later Sango and Miroku happened upon that very scene. Kagome was mourning the loss of the rest of her clothes, and Inuyasha was still lying on the ground and staring at the rip in the shirt Kagome was wearing...or rather, what the rip revealed. Obviously the young school girl had forgotten about it again in the midst of her distress.

"Kagome-chan!" Sango hurried over to the younger girl and closed the gap with her own hands in an attempt to save what was left of her friend's modesty.

The arrival of the slayer and monk snapped both Kagome and Inuyasha out of their dazes and made them realize exactly what was going on. He blushed and turned his head away, hoping Kagome hadn't noticed what he'd been doing, and Kagome blushed about twenty shades of red as she realized what Sango was doing for her. How in the world had she forgotten about it AGAIN?

Miroku just stood to the side, inwardly smirking at the fantastic scene.

"Sango-chan..." Kagome sounded as if she were about to cry, and the older girl hugged her while still managing to keep the shirt closed. "What am I going to do? My clothes! And...and...my...almost everyone's seen my..." She couldn't even say it, it was so horrible.

"Shhh. It's okay, Kagome-chan." Sango turned around to glare at both Miroku and Inuyasha. They were both going to DIE later; she'd make sure of it. "I promise that it isn't as bad as it seems."

"Yes it is!" Kagome cried. "And it's all HIS fault!" As if someone had flipped a switch, she stopped crying and made an attempt to lunge at Inuyasha like an angry cat wanting to claw his eyes out.

Despite the pain in his body, Inuyasha managed to skitter out of her reach as Sango thankfully kept the angry girl away from him.

"Kagome-chan, STOP!" Sango commanded as they struggled. "If you don't stop, they'll see again!"

"I don't care! I'm going to make him pay for this-!"

Miroku sighed, seeing that there really was no help for it. He needed to intervene before Kagome managed to do in both Sango and Inuyasha.

"Kagome-sama, Inuyasha did not steal your clothes."

The struggling between the two girls stopped like magic as Kagome turned to eye Miroku suspiciously. "What did you say?" Surely she hadn't heard him correctly...had she?

Miroku stepped closer and nodded to the pile of dirty rags that had once been Kagome's clothes. "Please, Kagome-sama. Do you think Inuyasha would ever find the nerve to do such a thing?"

She stared at him flatly, clearly not impressed with his reasoning after all the crazy things Inuyasha had been doing recently. "And who ELSE would have done it, Miroku-sama? You? Or perhaps Shippo-chan?" Sango laughed nervously when Kagome turned to glare at her, obviously remembering the excuse she had been giving while they were still at the river.

"Of course not, Kagome-sama." Shaking his head, Miroku spoke as if Kagome were a dense child. "Haven't you considered the possibility that it was not Inuyasha spying on you in the bath, but another youkai? And that it might have been he that took your clothing?"

Inuyasha blinked. Another youkai? Did he really expect Kagome to fall for such a stupid excuse? As if he'd EVER let another youkai get that close to Kagome while she was bathing! He'd have gutted it long before it would have been able to get anywhere near her! She knew that!

"Oh...well...no, I hadn't actually thought of that." Kagome bit her lip, looking suddenly doubtful.

Her response nearly made Inuyasha fall over. How dare she doubt him for even a second? He made a move to protest her lack of faith in him, but was quelled by glares from both Sango and Miroku.

"But, if it was another youkai..." Kagome seemed to slowly be forming an argument in her head the longer she thought about Miroku's words. "Then why does Inuyasha have my clothes? And how did another youkai manage to get there without any of you noticing?"

Miroku wasn't worried in the least as he answered her questions, knowing that he excelled at concocting falsehoods. "This youkai was an unusual one that we have not yet encountered on our journey. His aura was not very powerful, and he was obviously as expert at hiding himself from the senses of other youkai as well as those with spiritual powers. He did not seem very dangerous, so perhaps he only uses those skills to spy on unsuspecting young ladies? Whatever the case, Inuyasha was the one that managed to sense him first as he passed by the camp with your stolen clothing, so he went after him to get them back for you." He stared at Sango pointedly as he finished his short tale.

The area was silent for several moments, until Sango finally understood the look Miroku was sending her. "T-that's right! I saw the whole thing! When you came into camp right after it happened, you were so angry that we didn't get a chance to tell you about it!"

Looking from one person to the other, Kagome seemed to be contemplating if she should believe them or not. On one hand, she had a hard time believing that Inuyasha would have let a threat to her go undetected like that (Inuyasha would have felt much better, had she only spoken this thought aloud), but on the other hand, she also had a difficult time believing that Inuyasha really would have had the guts to actually do it himself.

"Well, I guess it being another youkai would be more likely than Inuyasha suddenly deciding to become a peeping tom..." She muttered, still looking a little torn. And perhaps she also seemed a bit...disappointed?

Miroku smiled widely. "Now then, shall we all head back to camp since everything has been cleared up? I'm very worn out after all this excitement and I would like to get some rest before we resume our journey tomorrow."

The group nodded while looking unusually subdued. Sango was watching Kagome worriedly, and Kagome seemed preoccupied as she went to apologize to Inuyasha and help him back to camp. He reluctantly accepted the offered assistance and in return gave her his haori to wear over her torn shirt.

A few minutes later they were walking silently side by side, his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her arm around his waist, when she finally spoke. "I'm really sorry for getting so angry without finding out what actually happened first. And I'm also sorry for hurting you like that."

She sounded ready to cry again, and he cringed guiltily. He'd been so sure that he would feel better since she wasn't out to kill him anymore, but instead he just felt worse! "Keh. Don't worry about it." He didn't want her to sound so miserable anymore, and he REALLY didn't want her apologizing to him for accusing him of something he really had done!

"But I SHOULD be worried about it!" She protested, looking miserable. "I feel so terrible for doing that to you! I'm so sorry, Inuyasha..."

If he had felt badly before, then the words she had just spoken made him feel like the scum of the earth.

"Oi, I said don't worry about it." He glanced at her from under his bangs as they walked. Yep. She was about to start crying any second. "I'll be fine! You barely even hurt me, okay? I'm just letting you help me so you'll stop feeling so bad about it!"

She sniffled. "But-"

"But nothing!" Jerking to a stop, Inuyasha turned to face her while still keeping his arm around her shoulders. Just the threat of her tears was enough to break any resolve he might have had to keep quiet. "Dammit, you didn't do anything wrong so just stop sniveling already! I deserved it!"

"Huh?" Now Kagome was completely confused, and the look on her face told Inuyasha that he'd probably made a big mistake. By trying to console her instead of sulking or getting angry as he normally would have for an undeserved sit, he was making her more than a little suspicious again. But maybe that was for the best, he decided, because he was already sick of feeling so guilty about it. At least now she would find out, kill him, and get it over with already. "Inuyasha, what do you mean by that?"

He steeled his resolve. "Kagome, I-"

As if he'd been waiting for just the right moment, Miroku suddenly appeared beside the pair, smiling cheerfully. "Kagome-sama! Sango-sama would like to speak with you for a moment about something very important. If you will be so kind and join her, I will be more than happy to help Inuyasha back to camp in your place." While he spoke, he managed to subtly remove the couple's holds on one another and push a still confused Kagome in Sango's direction. He was so efficient that she didn't stand a chance of protesting.

Inuyasha eyed the monk angrily behind the retreating girl's back. Miroku and Sango had been walking ahead of the them just a few moments before, but obviously he'd picked up on their conversation and had come back to do damage control. "Bastard." He muttered under his breath when Kagome was far enough away.

"Inuyasha, do you WANT to die by Kagome-sama's hands? Instead of being angry, you should appreciate the fact that you have someone much more level-headed than yourself to stop you from making such terrible mistakes." Miroku sounded like an overly patient adult speaking to a child. When the hanyou didn't respond, the other man sighed and reached out to take hold of Inuyasha's arm. As promised, he would help the stubborn idiot back to camp. "Come, we must not keep the ladies waiting..."

Inuyasha jerked his arm back. "Don't touch me, pervert!" He growled an additional warning, and Miroku put up his hands in a placating gesture.

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything improper! All I want to do help you back to camp as I promised Kagome-sama and nothing more. You have my word as a man of Buddha."

"Keh! I'm fine, and I can make it back to camp WITHOUT your so-called 'help.'"

With that, the two men slowly and silently started to follow the path that the two women had taken, Inuyasha walking very carefully despite his body's ability to heal rapidly. It would probably take him a few more hours before it would be in perfect condition again.

"Oi..." Inuyasha finally broke the awkward silence, unable to stop himself from asking a question that was on the forefront of his mind. "Why the hell did you help me with that stupid story back there, anyway? I thought you were out to ruin my relationship with Kagome..."

Miroku smiled at the hanyou's muttered question. "Why, what relationship is there to ruin?"

Inuyasha's glare told him how NOT funny that response was.

Resisting the urge to laugh, Miroku figured that he'd best stop the other man from asking anymore questions. Didn't want him getting suspicious, after all.

"To be perfectly honest, Inuyasha, I saved you because a dead man wouldn't be worth much to either I or Kagome-sama. It would be a shameful waste." He managed to say it with a perfectly straight face, knowing how Inuyasha would react to such a statement. And sure enough, Inuyasha moved over and gave the other man a much wider berth as they walked, and didn't say another word.

And that was exactly how Miroku wanted it.

* * *

Later that night, Kagome lay awake in her sleeping bag while the rest of her companions slept peacefully around her. And no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to join them in their slumber.

Turning over with a huff of annoyance, she almost squished poor Shippo and didn't even notice because she was so preoccupied. Her mind just wouldn't let go of the last thing Inuyasha had said before Miroku had successfully intervened. It was bothering so much that she wanted to scream in frustration.

'Why the heck did that idiot have to go and say something like that? I want to know what he meant by it so badly, and Miroku's timing makes me even more suspicious. Could he have really been they culprit, but they're all hiding it from me for some reason? But why would Sango help them lie about it? If anything, she would have been the first one to kill him for hanging around the river while either she or I bathed.' That, more than anything, made Kagome doubt her suspicions. Sango wouldn't help them if they were being perverts, idiots, or both, would she?

Agh! It was just too much for her poor brain to work through, especially as tired as she was feeling.

'Something is going on, I know that. Things have just been too strange lately, and the chance of it all being one big coincidence is very unlikely. I somehow need to get to the bottom of this, but how? I can't just sit everyone down and accuse them of lying to me! Because if they are up to something, Miroku is far too slick to let himself or the other two get cornered like that...' Kagome resisted the urge to start pulling her hair out in frustration. 'Gah! If only Miroku hadn't interfered before Inuyasha was able to explain!'

Interfere...

'Wait a minute! That's IT!' Kagome suddenly sat up, launching poor Shippo off her sleeping bag and into the dirt beside the sleeping bag. He didn't even stir. 'What would Inuyasha have said if Miroku hadn't had a chance to stop him? He was acting as if he were about to confess something, so perhaps if I can just get him alone...'

Kagome smiled into the darkness as she resettled herself and Shippo. Now that she had a plan, it shouldn't be too hard to act on it, right? Get Inuyasha (or if that fails, Sango – either one would work) away from the others and press them for information. Without Miroku around to pull the strings, surely they would eventually crack and tell her what was going on.

With her decision firmly in place in her mind, Kagome managed to finally fall asleep, completely unaware of the fact that another member of the group was still awake and watching her.

He had a guess as to what must be going through her head, and he was planning accordingly...

The next day was sure to be interesting.

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**A/N**: Wow, it didn't take me long at all to write this chapter! It just seemed to take on a life of its own as I wrote it, so by the end a lot of things ended up happening that even I wasn't expecting! But I like the way it turned out. It should be interesting to see where the story goes from here, because even though I have plans, they obviously don't always go the way you expect them to. And I have a feeling that this isn't the last time that will happen, LOL! Anyway, I appreciate comments and reviews, so I hope you guys will leave me some! 


	12. Step 12: So what did it look like?

**A/N**: Not much I can say that would be an adequate apology for how long I let this story sit around. It has been so long that I've had to read the entire story over again, and in a way it felt like I was reading something that someone else wrote. But in the process of reading it, I did rediscover my love for this plot. How I could have let it gather dust for so long, I just don't know.

Well, now I'm taking it off the shelf and dusting it off! So pull out your 'Let's make Inuyasha Squirm' membership cards, folks, and get ready to rumble! We have a special guest today, and he's anxious to stir up some trouble... 

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha and crew, but that is probably a good thing. After all, since I don't currently have a job, they'd probably just get sold on e-bay along with all my other junk.

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**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

Chapter Twelve 

The next day dawned cloudy and ominous.

'This can't be a good sign.' Kagome thought, sighing as she stared at the roiling clouds overhead. She was once again perched on Inuyasha's back, as the group was back on the move in pursuit of the elusive shard rumored to be nearby. "Figures it would storm while we are out in the middle of nowhere." She grumbled to no one in particular.

"Keh. Quit complaining. A little water ain't gonna hurt anybody." Inuyasha responded testily. He'd been in a pretty foul mood all morning, and it didn't seem that he would get over it any time soon.

Ignoring him completely, Kagome let her eyes wander around the surrounding landscape in a futile attempt to detect any shards in the area. The lack of progress was beginning to frustrate her, because she was anxious to head back home and get some more clothes. As it was, she was still wearing Inuyasha's haori since it was the only article of clothing available that could cover everything important.

Glancing over at Sango and Miroku as they traveled on the back of Kirara, Kagome noticed the expression on the other female's face was almost...anxious? Well, it was either that or guilt. Either way, what could possibly have Sango so worked up?

'Oh, I need to stop worrying about everyone and just concentrate on one crazy person at a time.' Kagome reminded herself firmly. Setting her jaw in a stubborn fashion, she made herself focus on her goal. 'I decided I was going to get down to the bottom of this mess starting with Inuyasha, so that's what I'm going to do even if it kills me!' 

Clearing her throat in preparation, Kagome decided that the first place to start was the most logical one. She needed to find out for sure what had happened the night before. For instance, had there really been another youkai, or was Inuyasha the true culprit? After considering everything in the light of day (though there was little of it to come by because of the brewing storm), Kagome couldn't help but doubt the story that she'd fallen so easily for the night before.

"So..." Kagome began while attempting to sound as casual as possible. "Just out of curiosity, what kind of youkai was it last night that stole my clothes? I mean, what did he look like?"

Suspiciously, Inuyasha stiffened after the question was spoken and faltered a bit in his stride. That wasn't something common for the normally graceful hanyou to do and Kagome couldn't help but take note of it even as she received an answer from one of her companions.

"Ah, Kagome-sama, remember that I said we had never encountered such a demon on our travels? It was such an unusual creature that even I find it hard to express properly in words." Miroku responded as smoothly as ever. "But if you would really like to know, then perhaps Inuyasha could attempt to enlighten us? After all, he did get the best look as this...strange foe." He turned to Inuyasha with a politely inquiring look, as if he'd just asked for the other male's opinion on the weather. 

Once again the hanyou faltered, though this time it was a bit more noticeable and even Kirara's riders noticed it. Sango seemed to be eyeing the half-demon with something akin to sympathy.

"Keh!" Inuyasha paused before his faced darkened into scowl that even Kagome couldn't miss, though she didn't exactly have a great vantage point. Distractedly, she also noted that his palms were beginning to sweat. "Why the hell it is so important anyway?" He huffed. "It was just a stupid, weak demon!"

Kagome leaned a bit farther forward in an effort to see his face better. "Quit being a jerk and just answer the question!"

Abruptly Inuyasha stopped running and dropped Kagome on her butt into the dirt and grass of a small clearing. The future girl shrieked angrily at the unexpected move, but the hanyou was already up in a tree and far out of her reach.

"Oi, we're gonna stop for lunch, so...just...do whatever!" Getting fed up with his inability to think of anything better to say, Inuyasha turned his back on his incensed companion with a muted growl of warning. All who knew Inuyasha well enough would be able to recognize that sound for what it was. He was ticked off about something and didn't want to be bothered for a while.

As she stood up, Kagome issued a small growl of her own. "Stupid Inuyasha! That hurt, you jerk!" She rubbed her tail bone as she glared up at the one responsible.

There was no response from the occupant of the tree except for a slight flinch, which meant that he'd heard, but was choosing to ignore her. Kagome began looking around for something to throw at him. Preferably something heavy and pointy...

"Kagome-chan!" Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Shippo had finally managed to double back after their companions had unexpectedly stopped. The worried demon exterminator hopped of the fire cat and jogged over to her friend. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Kagome was still glaring fiercely at Inuyasha's back. "Our resident evil demon over-lord decided he wanted to stop for lunch." She grumbled, her hand continuing to rub her sore rear.

Sango blinked in confusion. "This early? But we've only been searching for a few hours."

"Yeah, well..." Kagome gestured to the sulking hanyou. "Tell that to his highness over there."

"Ladies, ladies..." Miroku suddenly appeared behind them, and as old habits die hard, the two women hurried to turn around in defense of their assets. "I am sure Inuyasha was only thinking of your welfare when he decided to stop so early! Isn't that right, my friend?" 

The only response he got was a derisive snort from the treed hanyou.

Miroku shook his head. "Well, whatever the case, we should not pass up the chance to take a much needed rest."

The two women were ushered over to an area that looked ideal for sitting by the very solicitous monk, and he even helped Kagome pull out her sleeping bag and fold it for a cushion to protect her bruised posterior. 

After deciding that they were settled, he then dug through Kagome's back until he found some snacks and water for them all to share.

"So Kagome-sama," Miroku was munching on some of his favorite chips when he turned toward her. "Did you ever receive an answer to your question from Inuyasha?"

Kagome was surprised to realize that she'd forgotten all about it. "Well, no..."

Miroku gave a long suffering sigh. "Well, I shall have to be the courteous one as usual, I see."

As he was talking Sango was watching his every move carefully, like a prison guard would watch a prisoner. He didn't seem to take any notice of it.

"You see, Kagome-sama," Miroku began his tale like the master story teller he was. "This was truly the most unique youkai I have ever had the good fortune of seeing! I had hoped that Inuyasha would tell us more about it, but I am sad to say that due to his refusal, all you are left with now is my poor vantage point."

Despite herself, Kagome forgot her intention of being skeptical and leaned forward with anticipation.

Miroku placed one finger to his chin. "It was...oh, a fairly small youkai of unidentifiable gender, probably on the young side. Very slight and easy to miss if you aren't paying careful attention." He turned to Sango so intently that the demon exterminator herself was nearly caught up in the drama of the moment, despite knowing it was all one big lie. "It was difficult to tell in the dark what color it was. Do you think it might have been purple, or perhaps a bluish color?"

Sango's eyes widened and she laughed nervously at being pulled into the creation of the lie. "Er...I couldn't tell, either...too dark!"

Miroku smiled in understanding. "No matter, Sango-sama. That wasn't what really called our attention to him anyway, was it? It had other attributes far more interesting than being a strange color. Do you remember what I speak of?"

Now Sango was really sweating bullets. What was this idiot trying to pull, anyway? "Oh! Um...it did have a...a strange shape..." She finally responded awkwardly. She would kill him later, but for the moment she just tried to be as vague as possible and leave the creative thinking up to the expert liar of the group.

Now Miroku was laughing, as if he had recalled something very funny. "Oh, strange is a mild way of putting it! Ugly is really a better word to describe what we saw, don't you think?"

Sango gave him a tight smile. "Oh, yes. What I was looking at last night was VERY ugly."

Miroku gracefully ignored the jab coming from his irritated and unwilling co-conspirator. "Really, it was a very appalling yet fascinating sight, if I do say so myself. I believe that was the first time that I have ever seen a youkai that had the body of a kappa, the head of a lizard, and the bushiest facial hair I have ever seen on anyone, human or youkai!"

Kagome and Sango both stared at him incredulously, though for different reasons. 

"We've hardly ever seen any youkai with facial hair, now that you mention it." Kagome commented, obviously baffled. "I've never really thought of it before, but that is a little weird. I thought they were all naturally clean cut like Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru until they just got old like Toutousai or...or something. You said this one looked young?"

Miroku nodded seriously. "He might have been just a child, now that I think about. Very young, indeed."

"Wow." Shippo spoke up for the first time as he stopped suffing his face to stare at Miroku in awe. "There was really a youkai like that, and I missed it?" The baby kitsune was disappointed that he'd missed so much excitement.

Meanwhile, Sango was gritting her teeth and forcing herself to refrain from choking the idiot she was listening to. What did he think he was doing, concocting such an outrageous lie? Anyone with any brains would know that such a youkai didn't exist! Well, Kagome falling for it was understandable to an extent since she wasn't even from their time, and Shippo was still really too young to know better, but anyone else was sure to know it for the falsehood that is was! All it would take would be for Kagome or Shippo to tell someone else and the gig would be up-

Wait a minute. Why was she so worried about him keeping his little game a secret, anyway? The possibility that Miroku was corrupting her made Sango shiver with dread. Oh, what had she gotten herself into?

"Kagome-sama, when we as finished with our rest, you should ask Inuyasha if he can give you any more details about this mysterious and rare youkai." Miroku instructed solemnly. "As a holy monk and priestess, it is our duty to know all we can of our possible enemies. We must educate ourselves and others in an effort to protect all those around us."

Totally suckered into the idea of duty and honor as a priestess, Kagome was nodding earnestly at everything he was saying. He really knew what everyone's weaknesses were.

'So that's it.' Sango watched the pair with a growing sense of annoyance as understanding of Miroku's scheme finally dawned on her. 'He's just trying to set Inuyasha up. The more Kagome bugs him about this imaginary youkai, the more Inuyasha is going to squirm and avoid any situations where Kagome might be able get him alone. That monk really knows how to play these two, doesn't he?'

She was refusing to consider the idea that she was being played as well, though the intelligent exterminator knew full well somewhere in her mind that she was. And that he was doing a damn good job, to boot.

"Well, I believe that it is time we move on, don't you?" Miroku seemed to be finished with the brain washing of his victim, and was already standing and stretching like a satisfied cat. "If we don't start moving soon, we'll no doubt be stuck out in the rain."

Everyone looked up at the sky, and as if on cue a streak of lighting ripped through the dark mass of clouds above them. A few seconds later it was followed by a deafening crash of thunder.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called loudly, making sure she could be heard over the wind as it was picking up. "We need to get moving to see if we can find a village or some shelter!"

A second later Inuyasha dropped out of the tree, looking more foul than ever. He didn't protest, however, and allowed Kagome to climb on his back as the others situated themselves. "Oi, there might be some place we can find cover over that way." Inuyasha gestured with his head once everyone was ready to go. "From the tree I could see some rocks and stuff on a hillside, so there might be a cave or something." He might have been in a foul mood, but that didn't mean he was going to be an idiot and jeopardize everyone's safety.

"A cave?" Kagome questioned, looking nervous. "But a cave has...bugs...and youkai...and bugs...and..."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Either that, or take your chances with the lightening. What'll it be?"

Not a hard choice when it was put that way. "Cave it is!"

The group set off in search of shelter, but Kagome was startled out of her thoughts of finding safe place when a sudden, vague sensation poured over her. It was almost too faint to tell at the moment, but could it really be...?

Oh, this was NOT good! Not good at all...

* * *

The rain was coming down heavily, but despite that, the hair on the back Kouga's neck was still standing on end in a telling fashion. Not a good sign. They needed to find shelter before they were fried by the frequent lightening strikes going on around them.

"Head for that hill!" Kouga shouted over the rain and gestured clearly to his two followers as he visually scouted the area ahead of them. There was the possibility that they could find some shelter there. After checking to make sure they understood, Kouga then took off without them, knowing they'd follow as soon as their slowness would allow.

Ginta and Hakkaku followed with weary expression, as expected.

It didn't take Kouga long to reach his intended destination, and his sharp eyes immediately began examining the rocks for some sort of opening large enough for them to shelter in. They seemed to be the ruins of some sort of den. Probably once belonged to some kitsune or tanuki, but at least it seemed to be currently abandoned.

A huge crash of thunder and lightening struck at once, and Kouga cursed darkly before speeding up his search. That had been much too close for his comfort, spurring his sense of urgency.

Ah ha! Finally, the wolf youkai spotted well-hidden break in the rocks. After crouching and peering inside, he determined that the interior was much larger than the outside suggested. It would be perfect as a temporary shelter.

Before he could enter, however, there was a sudden disturbance behind him and to the right. Kouga whipped around to face whatever had approached him, while cursing the rain for dulling his senses so much. It was hard to hear or smell anything over the heavy downpour.

"Kouga!" A familiar voice shouted, and not a welcome one. It was that stupid mutt with his even stupider sword! But wait- where the dog was, his mistress was sure to be. 

"Kagome!" Kouga cried happily as he spotted her on his enemy's back. Not an ideal situation by any means in his mind, but one that could be corrected easily. "I've found a shelter from the storm and would be honored for you to join me!" Through the rain he could see the rest of the group as well, and smirked. "I'll even let your other friends in, but not the wet dog! He'll make the cave smell!"

Inuyasha growled. "Dammit, I saw this place first, so it's ours! You're the one that can't go in!"

Kouga's eyes went from amused to hard and cold in a second. "I found the cave, not you, mutt-face! That means you can just stay outside like the dirty little dog you are!"

Another heavy crash of thunder and lightening occurred too close together for comfort, and that was when Kagome knew she'd better intervene. The situation was getting desperate, and that called for threats, not peace talks. "This is no time to be petty and immature!" She yelled over the roaring wind and rain. "We aren't safe as long as we stay out here, and until you both agree to share the cave peacefully, I won't set one toe inside!"

That made the two growling males pause.

"Well..." Kouga was the first to give. "I could never risk Kagome's life just because she had a soft spot for disgusting animals, so I suppose I'll allow the mutt to come in!"

Inuyasha wanted to lash out at the nasty, idiot wolf, but knew he'd come out looking like the bad one if he did. "Fine, the stinking wolf can stay, but if he makes one move outta line, I won't be responsible for my actions!" He glared threatening at Kouga, though the effect was ruined by the soggy hair hanging in his face.

And so an uneasy truce began.

* * *

**A/N**: So, what do you think? Sorry, no perverted Inuyasha this time, but after the nut house that has been the last several chapters, it seemed like a goodidea to slow the pace and set up the next big event. This is the first time I've tried to write Kouga's character, and it was fun! I'm sure the next chapter will be even more entertaining to write, because...well, let's just say there will be an occurrence far rarer than even Inuyasha being a perv, lol...


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